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Failed Myspace Contests

By: Bobby Finstock on 02/15/07 @ 6:16 am

There is nothing more that people love on myspace than contests for some reason. In the last couple of weeks bloggers have done contents for best ass, best chest, best person with a name written on them, anti contests with names written on them, and so on and so forth. Personally I am not a big contest guy but the other day I was thinking about some of the contests that didn’t end up going very well here on myspace.

Balloon Knot of the Month

This is where people would take up close and personal pictures of their balloon knot. The cleaner it is the better you will do, except of course for the bonus points of toilet paper bits still lingering around. Originally when it started on myspace Adrianne Curry won three consecutive months, really where else can you go when you win “America’s Next Top Model”? Deemed unfair because they felt she was a ringer the contest was eventually shelved.

adrianne curry

I guess you really can shine shit.

MILF of the Year Award

Various young women were asked to write MILF on their body and send them in. The pictures were then taken and distributed to all of their children’s friends. After distributing the pictures we waited a month and went back to see what pictures ended up under the mattresses of our test audience. Due to the effort it took to run the contest it was quickly abandoned but all of your children’s friends will enjoy the pictures for years to come, don’t worry I am sure they won’t end up plastered all over your kids locker.


With everyone shaving and manscaping these days 70s style jungle bush has gone the way of the Gremlin. In an effort to appreciate those who still cultivate their pubs a contest was run on who had the longest pubic hair. At first we had trouble getting contestants but once we did it was not short on controversy, our winner Nina was later accused of using a pubic weave. Since the judges could not confirm or deny these accusations the contest was called off and the prize of a pubic flowbee was returned.



Yeah, no comment.


When I first changed to Kevin’s “Freaking” I decided to mark the date with a contest where people were asked to write freaking in one continuous bowel movement. Sadly nobody entered until a month after I started the contest, when it was pretty much forgotten by everyone. Donkeysosa was able to do it after a steady diet of bran and a month of free basing metamucil.

So here is to you Donk!

What other non-contests would you like to see?

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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