Why we should mourn Anna Nicole Smith

If you haven’t heard Anna Nicole Smith died yesterday proving that a diet of trim spa, cocaine, and Jim Beam cannot sustain you. Now here in LA because it was a celebrity they treated it on the local news like a President died, at first I was really annoyed but I began to think that we should all mourn the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

Why you ask?

Is it because she is another human being and we should all appreciate how delicate life is? Fuck no.

Anna Nicole Smith embodied everything that is great in this country. You can have zero talent, no education, abuse drugs, and be so dumb that you consider a zip lock bag high end technology yet be famous and wealthy because you have a huge set of tits. What is there not to love about that?

Sure she had to sleep with the crypt keeper at one point in her life in order to obtain most of her wealth but really isn’t that every girls bus ticket out of Texas? Hell I would take a shot in the mouth from a 90 year old for a few hundred million, just think she married him long before Viagra was invented so you know she only had to pry open the roast beef trap a handful of times if that. Actually she probably just had to jump on a trampoline for the old fart and sit on his lap occasionally.

So I ask you all today to take a second out and think about Anna Nicole Smith and then think about if you could shell out some money for a tit job that you could live on easy street. Because someone needs to step in and fill the huge void she left.

How much coverage is too much coverage on this whole “death of Anna Nicole”?