Myspace as a dating tool, thank god I am not a woman

A lot of people use myspace as their own match.com but without having to shell out the cash, you cheap bastards. Everyone is meeting everyone on here, hell there have been love connections made out of the comments in my blogs. My favorite thing though is the random message… Women don’t send the random message at all but guys feel embolden enough to send out mass amounts of messages to see if one woman will bite.

You have the typical guy on here with his popped collar or his bare chest, barely 18 sending women of any age, “Uz HaWt wAnNa FcK?”

I always wondered if ANYONE ever responded positively to that comment. You have to figure someone has to reinforce that so they can continue to send it. For example I used to walk up to girls back when I was younger and say, “Are you good at math because I have a problem for you. Lets add you and I, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.” Sure it didn’t work 90% of the time but that 10% we had romance….

Besides the 18 year old you have your freaks. Today I would like to present to you a case study of a man trying to make a love connection. He sent a message to one of my friends who forwarded it to me.

1) The message- “HI MY NAME IS JEFF I LIVE IN (location deleted) WANNA CHAT SOMETIME I HAVE A FEW PICS ON HERE.”

Besides the annoying caps the messages was pretty straight forward, nothing offensive. Seems like a decent enough guy, makes you want to check out his profile.

2) The profile picture-

Seems pretty normal, decent looking and a respectable guy, and the women begin to warm up to the idea of talking to him more.

3) The profile- It has roses in the background some attractive women in the top friends, nothing that stands out…. Time to click on the more pictures button and check him out more.

4) Additional Photos- I am sure we can really see what this guy is about, who knows maybe he has some cute pictures.

That is kind of odd… why does he have slutty picture of his ex-girlfriend?

Oh, that is nice a picture of his sister on her wedding day. Wait a second…

That’s not his sister!!!!!!!!!!

Well at least he is into cleaning….

“I’d fuck me…” Notice the clothing rack and the makeup stand, this is totally like “Silence of the Lambs”

Note to any women that dates me in the future- You are no longer allowed to wear black lingerie because this picture has scared me for life.

Summation- Let me make this clear, if you want to cross dress or you are into your type of kink that is totally cool and fine. If you want to ritually sacrifice a goat and have sex in its entrails be my guest it is none of my business what you do. But inviting someone to your profile at trying to chat them up and dropping this on them is like trying to do anal fisting on the first date, you need to work your way up to it.

Women I feel your pain, I see the types of messages that you get and truly feel for you. At least now I know though that it is totally acceptable for me to send you that picture of my ass with a gerbil hanging halfway out of it (I didn’t know you were supposed to use a paper towel tube).

What is the freakiest message or picture you have received from someone on myspace?