"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
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Jan
12

Are all of our relationships doomed to fail because of our upbringing?

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/12/07 @ 7:10 am

(sorry this is me filling my quota of one serious blog a month, dick and fart jokes will return tuesday)

Last night I watched the movie The Last Kiss and was struck by something that I think is interesting. For those of you who haven’t seen it I won’t ruin it for you and give stuff away but let me give you an overall description of the film, basically it is about four guys that are reaching their thirties and all seem to hit a crisis point in their life regarding relationships. Some of their relationships failed and some of them succeeded after getting past a certain point but it really spurred me to think about divorce and why the divorce rate has increased over the last few generations.

pushy parents


How much of this is our parents fault?

Really since the 1980s we have been told over and over if we don’t enjoy something that we probably shouldn’t do it. If you don’t like a sport, quit. If you don’t like your career, go back to school. How many times are you told that, “Life is too short to not be happy”?

Have we as a generation continually chose the least path of resistance because we aren’t happy?

In relationships happiness and misery go hand in hand don’t they? Isn’t it a cycle, not everything will be coming up roses for the entirety of a marriage nor will your job always be perfect or your health or anything. But once we run into a tough patch or more appropriately an extend tough patch do we look to pull the ripcord because for that time period we just aren’t happy?

didnt go


Do we not have the same work ethic as generations before us?

We all know relationships require work and not just on a romantic level. Your relationship with your boss, with your friends, with your neighbor, and with just about anyone else you interact with requires some level of effort. The relationship with someone you live with requires that much more because the amount you are around each other and the level of intimacy involved.

With the hyper competitive and full lifestyle that people lead these days are we too broken down to put the work in and the effort in to something many of us consider our safe place, the home?

morals


Are our morals malleable, in the end are we a generation of hypocrites?

It often seems that generations before use seemed to live in a black and white world. We seem to realize that it is more of a shade of gray. I think we have been taught to be self aware, to analyze the world around us at a different level than other generations have. Has this been to our determinant? To me it seems like a lot of people now take the position to adjust their moral compass to whatever suits their situation because our peers don’t look at everything so cut and dry. We are much more ready to justify our poor moral choices by bending the reasoning behind our morals.

Maybe because we are so self aware we can realize when we have made a bad choice and realize that we need to correct it. Does that mean that so many of us continually make bad choices and as a group we can’t get out of our own way?

Why do you think marriage/relationships fail at a higher level with the last few generations?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

6 Responses to “Are all of our relationships doomed to fail because of our upbringing?”

  1. says:

    Nobody likes serious, Kevin. Or serious Kevin.

    Actually I agree. I’m not a big fan at working at relationships. But that might be because I should have been born with a penis. I think talking about feelings is one of the most boring things ever. I’d rather break up than deal with that shit. I don’t know if I can blame society for that, but it is possible that my generation was raised to be lazy and non-committal. I like that idea better than the idea that it’s just me that’s lazy and non-committal.

    Now bring back the fart jokes.

  2. says:

    The fart jokes will be back on Tuesday…

    Yeah working sucks why bother?

  3. says:

    I always chalked it up to the removal of the social stigma attached with a divorce/ break up. No longer who two people who hate each other be forced to stay together because breaking up would be social leprosy not seen since the kids on the short bus in grade school.

    We just move on to gmake someone else miserable :D

  4. says:

    [quote comment="1657"]I always chalked it up to the removal of the social stigma attached with a divorce/ break up. No longer who two people who hate each other be forced to stay together because breaking up would be social leprosy not seen since the kids on the short bus in grade school.

    We just move on to gmake someone else miserable :D [/quote]

    There are ALWAYS other people that can be made miserable right?

  5. Cesar says:

    I don’t think our generation suffers because of issue of commitment (I am a 29 year old but technologically savvy in Argentina so that puts me between Gen X and the dreaded Gen Y).

    I think the main points are two, expectations and information. The generations before us have certain info about the system that led them to believe in a future. We have seen that future twarted and even if the propaganda machine is stronger than ever, checking alternative sources is easier than ever.

    In a generation with more divorces than marriages that last, what did you expected. For the system to work people have to believe in it and sadly we have too much info to do so.

  6. Lisa says:

    Who knows. My ex left me 5 months ago after a 10 year relationship. He just left (after withdrawing, then sleeping on the couch), and is now seeing someone new. I suggested counselling, he refused. But really, the relationship was empty for a long time because he didn’t know what he wanted, and any intimacy that was there died. It was hard to get a commitment from him about whether he was going to be home for dinner, let alone marriage and children. And yes, I should have seen the signs 5 years ago! But I didn’t. Young love hey. I do still love him and miss him and thought we were worth trying for, but I do believe we both need to grow. He believes this is the right path and won’t say 100% that we won’t ever be together again, only that he doesn’t intend for it to happen…well that says 100% to me! I don’t think we will ever be together again, but that’s life.

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