The Enemies List

Over the last year I have had new people come along and start reading the feces that I write. I think now would be a good time to clear some things up and get everyone on the same page. Here is a list of enemies of the state of Kevin (I normally don’t refer to myself in the third person or as a state but I figured I would try it on for size and see how it feels.)

Here is a good primer for newer readers so you know where I stand on very important topics, plus I am really bored of doing school work and decided to piss away time on this.

Paris Hilton

Why- I pretty much regard her as the Anti-Christ. She has proven that if you don’t have talent and if your parents have enough money for a lot of plastic surgery you can become famous. When I hear her talk I want to take a pair of child safety scissors and attempt to cut of my ears.

Andy Dick and Patton Oswalt

Why- I had a run in with Andy Dick one night and he basically acted like the biggest asshole ever. (you can read about that here) Then I wrote about it and Patton Oswalt decided to call me a “douchebag” in an e-mail exchange with someone that reads my blogs. (you can read about that here)

Infantilists aka dudes that wear diapers

Why- If you get turned on by shitting in a diaper and having someone change it for you well then you and I are going to have issues. I think it is something that is really funny and I will make fun it of. You will probably posts links to my blog on bdsm message boards and have friends send me death threats. I wrote about this before and it was taken down by myspace, you can read it here now.

Johnathan from Blow Out

Why- Look at the picture, tell me you don’t think he is a douchebag? Plus I got sucked into a show on Bravo, how is that possible?

Adult Harry Potter Fans

Why- While it is ok for me to make jokes about abortion, racism, death, maiming, and other subjects. When I took on Harry Potter people didn’t seem to like that, here is the myspace blog with all the people freaking out.

People that are pissed off at me in return:

Fall Out Boy Fans
Other Bloggers
Inmate Rights Advocates
Canadians
Hookers
The mentally disabled
Southerners
Michael J Fox fans
About 12 ex-girlfriends
Freddie Prinze Jr. Fans
Cheerleaders
Sex Offenders
Steve Guttenberg
Seventeen Magazine

Is there anyone else that you feel we should include on either list?

Would anyone like to make a case why anyone from here should be removed?