"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Dec
02

Well played Britney… Well Played: Top Five Reasons Why Britney Exposing Herself Was A Business Move

By: Bobby Finstock on 12/2/06 @ 7:18 am

I wasn’t going to chime in on the whole Britney exposed train wreck vagina thing. Everyone jumped all over it and well… it wasn’t that shocking. It’s like the drunk uncle doing something totally inappropriate at the family reunion, “There goes Gary again to dry hump that head of lettuce. Oh Gary!”

The other day though I had a discussion with Robert Friedman the IV and he basically pointed out something that I had not thought of. This was a business move by Britney and I have to say I agree. Yes I know there are going to be arguments made that it wasn’t a business move, in fact I will give them to you:

1) After seeing how horrible her grand canyon is nobody will look at her as a sex symbol. (Oh and the C section scar does not help)

2) By giving away the goods now she just ruined any shot at Playboy. Letting Forbidden hold onto her title as skankiest blonde to ever appear in Playboy.

3) When Paris Hilton is telling you to close your legs America will lose that much more respect for you.

Can I tell you that Paris Hilton telling her to close her legs is like: (insert whatever joke you think is funnier here)

-Courtney Love telling someone how to put on makeup
-Ted Kennedy giving driving tips
-Michael J Fox advising people on how to keep a steady hand (I thought I could slip that by you, I know, I know it’s awful)
-Nicole Richie giving eating tips
-Rosie O’Donnell giving blow job lessons

It was a pure business move because it has destroyed the marketability of any sex tape K-fedex was going to release. She robbed him of the chance to make millions off of some crappy video of him doing her from behind while she is snapping gum and wearing a trucker hat.

He might as well not even think about releasing it at this point. Nobody wanted to see him have sex to begin with but now you add into the equation that we have seen the disgusting nether regions of Britney, the tape has no value.

It would move into the top five worst celebrity sex tapes ever released: which would be bad news for Sharon Tate and Roman Polanksi.

In closing I have to say well played Britney, well played. Maybe are you are smarter than we all give you credit for.

britney spears bathroom

Eh…. maybe not…

(Ok it was a top three.. sue me.)

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

29 Responses to “Well played Britney… Well Played: Top Five Reasons Why Britney Exposing Herself Was A Business Move”

  1. [...] Well played Britney … Well Played: Top Five Reasons Why Britney Exposing Herself Was A Business Move by Kevin [...]

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  7. Derick says:

    Hahaha… funny stuff. I think the picture at the bottom of the post makes up for it being short a couple of points.

  8. [...] Well played Britney… Well Played: Top Five Reasons Why Britney Exposing Herself Was a Business Move – Kevin @ Pointless Banter [...]

  9. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="2621"]Hahaha… funny stuff. I think the picture at the bottom of the post makes up for it being short a couple of points.[/quote]

    Glad you liked it… yeah I guess a picture is worth a thousand words.

  10. [...] Well played Britney … Well Played: Top Five Reasons Why Britney Exposing Herself Was A Business Move by Kevin [...]

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