Things I will never wear

While I don’t consider myself fashionable in anyway, shape, or form I do have some sort of basic sense of what I shouldn’t wear. Here are five items that you will never find in my closet.

5) Zubaz- The NFL fad from the early 1990s. I never owned them and even back in an era where hypercolor shirts were cool, I knew that these wouldn’t be.

(what says team loyalty like Zebra stripes on sweatpants?)

4) Leather chaps- I don’t ride a Harley and I don’t hang out at gay clubs so I am pretty sure that I will never have to decide if it is appropriate for me to wear these or not. I am pretty comfortable leaning to the no side of things.

(I don’t think they will look any better on me.)

3) A Hoodie- I haven’t owned a hooded sweatshirt in over ten years. For some reason I hate wearing them, I always feel like I am being choked. Since I never actually put up the hood I don’t see the purpose of having one.

(Black hoodie=socially dysfunctional.)

2) Crotchless panties- Regular panties maybe… but crotchless? I just can’t see that working out for me.

(I think my hips are much hotter)

1) A dashiki- Yeah it isn’t all that funny but it took me like 15 minutes how to correctly spell the name of this item so it is going in the blog. I don’t see me looking good in any garb from the sixties or that primarily worn in Africa. Although I would be receptive to a mumu.

(That blue would really make the color of my eyes standout.)

What is something that you can never see yourself wearing?