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detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Nov
28

Things I will never wear

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/28/06 @ 6:33 am

While I don’t consider myself fashionable in anyway, shape, or form I do have some sort of basic sense of what I shouldn’t wear. Here are five items that you will never find in my closet.

5) Zubaz- The NFL fad from the early 1990s. I never owned them and even back in an era where hypercolor shirts were cool, I knew that these wouldn’t be.

zubaz

(what says team loyalty like Zebra stripes on sweatpants?)

4) Leather chaps- I don’t ride a Harley and I don’t hang out at gay clubs so I am pretty sure that I will never have to decide if it is appropriate for me to wear these or not. I am pretty comfortable leaning to the no side of things.

chaps

(I don’t think they will look any better on me.)

3) A Hoodie- I haven’t owned a hooded sweatshirt in over ten years. For some reason I hate wearing them, I always feel like I am being choked. Since I never actually put up the hood I don’t see the purpose of having one.

hoodie

(Black hoodie=socially dysfunctional.)

2) Crotchless panties- Regular panties maybe… but crotchless? I just can’t see that working out for me.

panties

(I think my hips are much hotter)

1) A dashiki- Yeah it isn’t all that funny but it took me like 15 minutes how to correctly spell the name of this item so it is going in the blog. I don’t see me looking good in any garb from the sixties or that primarily worn in Africa. Although I would be receptive to a mumu.

dashiki
(That blue would really make the color of my eyes standout.)

What is something that you can never see yourself wearing?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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