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Drug Names and the Wire

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/15/06 @ 7:25 am

I have been really into The Wire this year. In the last month I have bought the first three seasons on DVD and plowed through viewing them. It might be the best show on tv, in fact I will go on record and say that it is. For those of you who don’t watch it basically is a show about the Baltimore drug trade.

One of the things that really interested me about the show is the fact that drug dealers name their product. For example if they sell crack in a vial that has a yellow cap on it they simply call it “yellow top”. It’s so the crack heads know the different product that is out there. So there is like brand named crack and then low end crack. The corner boys (the kids on the corner that sell it) basically talk it up, “You know we got some of that yellow top.” Also it helps them so nobody actually has to name the drug.

Some of the dealers take it a step further instead of just naming it after the top of the vial they have other names for their product like:


There are a few more but I can’t remember them off of the top of my head. Anyways while watching it I decided that I wanted that job. Not the drug dealer job but the guy that comes up with the names of the product.

I figured I would name them after celebrities. Here are a couple of the names I came up with:


K-fed- Really low quality, will mostly make you nauseated.

mel gibson

Mel Gibson-
You probably shouldn’t drive after taking this.

marion barry

Marion Barry-
It will mess you up but you will be able to still function the next day. In fact you might even be mayor.

whitney houston

Will totally fuck you up.


Terri Schiavo- You might want to have relatives making some other plans for you.

Are there any names that you would want to come up with?

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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