"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Nov
03

The Battle for Silence and I have become an old man

By: Bobby Finstock on 11/3/06 @ 7:43 am

This blog was something I was working on and never really posted, it was inspired by a discussion in Dabi’s blog about what is more annoying people that walk around constantly talking on their cell phones or people that walk around constantly on their ipod. Then something happened the other day while I was on campus that made me go back to this.

I think cell phones have become the ultimate litmus test for class and manners this century. Because they can be used almost anywhere it doesn’t mean they should, making that choice of when to use it and when not to can tell a lot about the person. There are three types of cell phone users:

1) The conscientious user- It’s the person that shuts the phone off before class or when they get into a movie theater. They don’t answer while they are in a public place where it would be rude to do so ie; a library. Also when they are engaged in conversation with someone be it something as small as ordering lunch to an actual work conversation they won’t answer the phone. Basically they have manners.

2) The oblivious user-
They answer the phone anytime, anywhere with no clue or care on how it impacts the people around them. This is the type of person that will carry on a conversation about how they got banged really hard the night before and have been bleeding out of their anus for a day in front a class of third graders on a field trip. This user will answer the phone even during sex.

cell phone user

If you are one of these cell phone users do you really want to be compared to her?

3) The status user- This is the person that walks around with their blue tooth ear piece in 24×7 because it makes it look like that they are important enough that they should ALWAYS be expecting a phone call. Some would throw these people into the oblivious user category but in all reality they don’t get that many phone calls, they just want you to believe they are that important.

blue tooth

The other day I engaged in battle with one of the oblivious users. I was in the library on campus in between classes working on one of my 45 different papers or essays I have due this semester on one of the computers. This girl sits down across from me and proceeds to have a ten minute conversation on the phone about her plans for the night. It sounded like her friend wasn’t getting good reception so she decided to speak up so the entire building could hear her conversation.

Immediately after getting off of the phone her friend came in and sat down next to her where they proceeded to fill out a job application for a retail store online together talking the entire time. (Which isn’t it a bit scary to see a college student need help on filling out a retail job application? My god what does it say about how they got into this school, wait what does it say about the school? Shit, McDonald’s here I come) This went on for about 15 minutes and you could feel the hatred in the room building. I shot them a couple of “shut the fuck up” looks to no avail. Finally after retyping the same sentence for the 45th time because I couldn’t concentrate to move I had to open my mouth.

Me: Are you guys going to have the running conversation going on all afternoon?

Girl 1: Oh, I’m sorry…..

(Then her tone turns to a complete and utter bitchy one. Like she made a choice in her head that she wanted to argue with me.)

Girl 1: Wait this is a public place. I can talk if I want to.

(I had to scale it back a bit or I was going to end up shitting on her chest in the middle of the library and nobody wants to see that.)

Me: It’s the library. Since when did it become ok to sit in the library and shout to the person sitting next to you distracting every other person in here? You don’t hear anyone else talking do you? Have some respect for the people around you trying to get work done.

(You here a few claps and see a bunch of nods. It is kind of obvious that we have about half of the library’s attention at this point.)

Girl 1: Whatever asshole…

(This is where I make the official transition from a guy in his twenties to a 45 year old man.)

Me: Didn’t your parents teach you any manners? Classless bitch.

(I got a few laughs and a loud YEAH. But that moral victory was cut short because a piece of me had just died.)

What type of cell phone user are you? Are there other types of users I forgot?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

77 Responses to “The Battle for Silence and I have become an old man”

  1. says:

    I hate it when people are on the phone in the library or movie theatre, but the worst is the “status user” having the blue tooth headset in at a restaurant while eating with their family. Get a life douche!

  2. says:

    After working as a barrista in a franchise health food store frequented by granola yuppies, I learned the value of cell-phone politeness. I can’t even begin to count the number of times that someone would walk up to my counter mid-call, then after telling whoever they were talking to to hold on a moment, they would fire off their order to me and go back to their conversation before I had the opportunity to ask them various important questions (that they would later berate me if I didn’t pick up the telepathic hint that they wanted their small latte to be made with soy, and decaffinated).
    Not only was it frustrating, work wise, but it was just…rude. I got in the habit of ignoring them if they were on their cell phones, then if I got attitude, explaining that it looked like they were in the middle of a very important call that I was loathe to interrupt. Most of them didn’t get it.
    Since working there, however, if I’m in a store, talking on my cell, and I approach the register, I tell whoever I’m on with that I’ll call them back.

    And I’m with you…since WHEN is talking in a library ok? I think you should have slapped that bitch. Seriously…sometimes I act silly and goofy in public, and people think I’m…special…but I really hate people who act in a way that compromises the enjoyment of others…those people who act like it’s their right to screw around however they like, even if it’s screwing other people over.
    Ok…ramble ramble ramble I’m done.

  3. says:

    My husband was a status user, the blue tooth headset thingy. He got tired of the constant jokes I made to him about how no one ever calls him but me and his mom…

    and then I told him he looked like a cyborg with that thing sticking out of his ear.

    Now it is sitting at the bottom of our twins toy box.

    Can’t imagine why.

    My phone sits at the bottom of my purse for weeks and then i realize i have 17 voicemails of my mom and husband saying

    “bj, do you ever answer your phone?” call me back.

    fuck those little library hoes!

  4. says:

    Doesn’t your library have librarians to bitch-slap these people?

    When I had my day in court last Friday, some idiot didn’t pay attention to the ‘ABSOLUTELY NO CELL PHONES IN THE COURTROOM’ sign and got a $100 fine from the judge for contempt! Would that the rest of us have that power.

    Rules of cell phones:

    1)If I’m talking with someone first, they take presidence over a phone call. If I need to take the call, I ask ‘would you please excuse me, I need to take this call’. Dissing someone in front of me for a person on the phone is highly rude.

    2) If I’m on the phone, and I receive another call, I do the same thing.

    3) The phone is primarily for my convenience calling out. Incoming calls are generally considered incidental in my book (unless it’s APQ cuz that bitch gets everything).

    4) I don’t even take the phone with me in a movie theater (not that I go often, but still), library, or place of business where I need to interact with someone who works there. Grocery stores, though, are okay.

    We get customers who come into our store and are talking on the phone. I don’t help them. If they ask me for help, I tell them I’ll be happy to when they finish their conversation. I train my employees the same way. Why? Because there is no point in my telling them something when I know they’ll not listen and I’ll have to repeat myself, even once.

    Good post, Kevin, kudos.

  5. says:

    You suck, Palmer!

    Actually, how the bloody hell did you score Sid Haig? You need to give Trista your anus.

  6. says:

    this was beyond disturbing your references to sex and what not amused me but I like the blog yesterday about porno movies

  7. says:

    I went to lunch with a friend one day. She spent the entire time talking to her boyfriend on her phone loudly (“can you hear me”, etc.). Eventually, she got up and went outside leaving me to sit and eat my lunch alone. When she finally came back to the table, I was done. I paid for my meal and said, “Thanks for having lunch with me.” She said, “No problem.” Needless to say, I won’t accept a lunch invite from her again.

  8. says:

    I work in a store and it drives me nuts when people have their earphones in or are on the phone and can’t stop being on the phone long enough to answer a couple of simple questions. Ugh.

    I don’t own a cell phone because I don’t need a fucking security blanket and if I’m not home to take your call, there is probably a good reason for it – like I’m in a theatre or library or hiding from your sorry ass. I loved the invention of the answering machine, but used to think screening calls was rude until I had unpaid bills… Now I understand the answering machine is a gift to those of us who hate to waste time talking to morons after we chose not to date them again.

  9. says:

    [quote comment="1375"]Well, there is another type of Bluetooth user. A cross between 1 and 3. They aren’t using if for status as much as they use it out of necessity because they’re on the phone ALL the DAMN TIME.

    That person that shows up at your house talking on the phone and remains on the phone until after they leave. So you know they have that thing on all the time, even when they shit.

    Unacceptable, really.[/quote]

    I do that when people call to bitch about something truly stupid and won’t shut up for an hour – I take the phone in the bathroom with me. If they are particularly annoying I don’t cover the receiver.

  10. says:

    [quote comment="1384"]this was beyond disturbing your references to sex and what not amused me but I like the blog yesterday about porno movies[/quote]

    wait you didn’t like this because of my references to sex but you liked a blog about porno? wha?

  11. says:

    [quote comment="1386"]I went to lunch with a friend one day. She spent the entire time talking to her boyfriend on her phone loudly (“can you hear me”, etc.). Eventually, she got up and went outside leaving me to sit and eat my lunch alone. When she finally came back to the table, I was done. I paid for my meal and said, “Thanks for having lunch with me.” She said, “No problem.” Needless to say, I won’t accept a lunch invite from her again.[/quote]

    damn are you guys even friends anymore?

  12. says:

    [quote comment="1364"][quote comment="1361"]I wonder if she’s on MySpace…. hmmmm.[/quote]

    I love the name Randy.

    this has nothing to do with you blog Kev, but I’m blogging it anyway – sorry hunnie, I’ll make it up to you I promise.

    My great Grand Daddy was Conyard Randal, a rather cool, if not old fashioned, name, and I’ve always ALWAYS since I was a little girl maintained that if I ever have a baby boy, he’d be called Randal, Randy for short.

    So thanks, for making me think of my most awsome grand dad, and that sweet smelling aroma of pipe tabaco.[/quote]

    Why thank you.

  13. says:

    I wish everyone listening had stood up and cheered! I frequent the libraries around town and I am astonded that people answer their phones and hold conversations! It is the ultimate rudeness!

  14. says:

    I think there is yet another kind of user and its the one that drives me the most insane. The pre-teen user. These are the spoiled brats whose parents bought them the phone under the pretense that it would be for emergencies only yet they are constantly on the phone crossing the street oblivious to the rest of the world including the car that is about to hit them. I’m sorry, but I don’t know why your 11 year old needs a cell phone. If they’re at school, call the office, or give them two quarters to use for a pay phone in emergencies, if they are at a friend’s house, get the phone number to the house where they are! There is no reason you can give me that your child of 11 needs a cell phone that would convince me that it’s necessary, because if they need that much supervision, you should keep them at home! ‘Kay, I’m done with the rant now. Sorry bout that.

  15. says:

    [quote comment="1393"]I think there is yet another kind of user and its the one that drives me the most insane. The pre-teen user. These are the spoiled brats whose parents bought them the phone under the pretense that it would be for emergencies only yet they are constantly on the phone crossing the street oblivious to the rest of the world including the car that is about to hit them. I’m sorry, but I don’t know why your 11 year old needs a cell phone. If they’re at school, call the office, or give them two quarters to use for a pay phone in emergencies, if they are at a friend’s house, get the phone number to the house where they are! There is no reason you can give me that your child of 11 needs a cell phone that would convince me that it’s necessary, because if they need that much supervision, you should keep them at home! ‘Kay, I’m done with the rant now. Sorry bout that.[/quote]
    I was thinking the exact same thing. I know this lady who bought her 10 year old daughter a cellphone. She said it was for emergencies and blah like that. But then I talked to the girl. Why did your mom buy you a cell? Her answer: Because everyone in my class has one. WTF? The girl didn’t even want it. Needless to say she lost it a week after.

  16. says:

    Well somebody else covered me, the annoying phone user with the loud ring tone(and message tone). It was the phone, it has the ability to be hooked to my computer, it made me…rude mp3 anybody. I like to think I am a number 1 user as I put it to silent when I go to movies, dinner and meetings. No good having tech to keep in touch if you dont use it though, I always excuse myself after the person Im with finishs their sentence if I have to answer it.

  17. says:

    I believe cell phones are the devil… the worst is in movie theaters. People can’t seem to turn them off…and putting them on vibrate is as equally annoying…

    People need to learn to respect others… maybe I’m turning old too:/!

  18. says:

    What about the users whos phone rings, but they don’t answer it, they wait till the last minute, maybe even let it ring off? they do it to say, “hey look at me. not only is my ring tone off the top 40, i’m insanely cool because i’m too cool to even answer my phone! THAT’S how important i am! suck on it bitch!” except really, they suck like a slut. yes, that bad.

  19. says:

    This is the sort of conversation I imagine I would have with a yuppie bluetooth user:

    Bluetooth User: See what I have sticking outta my ear? Bluetooth baby. Yeah. For real. Got my bitches on call and…

    Me: [Fires one single bulletin into Bluetooth User's head]

    Bluetooth User: …

    Me: pwn3d.

  20. says:

    I guess I’m the first as my cell is rarely on at all. I’m one of those people that refuses to let it run my life – plus I just find them annoying as hell. I only turn it on when I need it and its important.

    However, it must be said that my office manager is one of those bluetooth assholes. And you can take the following statement to the bank… it has always been my experience that anyone who has a bluetooth is generally NOT important enough to have one in the first place. If their boss didnt buy it for them and they went out and purchased this on their own they are most likely just a lazy pretentious piece o’ crap.

  21. says:

    I, thankfully, am a number one user. While i am at work, i won’t even keep my phone on me because i know the temptation to check it 50000 times that day.

    In one of my sociology classes we were assigned a week of “off” public behavior. Our assignment was to do things that, while not illegal, were considered rude and wrong. I chose to be a “close talker” for a week. That was fun. One girl decided to have a friend call her during class, have her ringer be some annoying hip hop song and answer it and have a 20 minute phone conversation. it was the best test of how long it takes people to say something i have ever seen. Being a close talker was fun too though.

  22. says:

    oh and i forgot one thing. I used to be a cell phone using driver because i thought i was a good driver even when talking on the phone. Then i accidentally ran a red light once because i wasn’t paying attention. I shut the phone off and admitted to the problem. I won’t do it again. Fortunately i was not caught and no other cars were coming so there wasn’t any damages. It just made me realize i was an idiot.

  23. says:

    Yes Molly! Glad you saw the ‘light’!!

    Kevin, most of the folks here say they are user 1…. if so, why is there so much of the rude behavior going on? (And I’m pretty sure you’ve been guilty of it too) Someone said they answer when driving ‘to see if it’s important’ so this means if they consider it important they stay on the phone..

    Me? I absolutely do not answer the phone inside any establishment or in my car. A few days ago I was on the freeway going to pick up my Mom so we could go to the hospital to visit my Nephew (he’s home now) and my phone rang, yes I knew there was a 99% chance the call was regarding my Nephew, no, I did not answer nor did I look at it to see who was calling. I did not need any more info while driving nor did I need to get any more stressed than I already was! (Yes, it turned out to be my Brother and it was about my Nephew)

  24. says:

    I’m definitely a number 1. Nobody calls me so I never have a need to talk on a cell phone in public. That sounds kinda sad, doesn’t it? If someone does call, I usually leave the room. I only take calls if it’s an emergency. I’m too cheap to spend a lot of money talking on a phone.

  25. says:

    I have a bluetooth headset but I can’t say I’m number 3. I only wear it when I MAKE calls. I have unlimited minutes, you know. LOL.

    Great blog! This is going onto blogroll.

  26. says:

    [quote comment="1404"]I have a bluetooth headset but I can’t say I’m number 3. I only wear it when I MAKE calls. I have unlimited minutes, you know. LOL.

    Great blog! This is going onto blogroll.[/quote]

    Sweet blogrolled! Thanks I appreciate it!

  27. says:

    I’d like to think I am the first one, I always turn my phone off as I enter the cinema (and I hate people checking the time IN the cinema with their phone, so you know from the illuminated little box they don’t give a crap if it goes off or not – the film’s 2 and a half hours long, you work it out, if you had somewhere to be, why would you be seeing a film anyway!?), the doctors, the library – and I’m amazed that other people wouldn’t think to do that. I do answer the phone on public transport, but then I have to, it’s usually someone from home asking where I am, I don’t give out huge personal details, I just say how long I’ll be.

    Happy C&C Monday

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