Movies that will never be made into porn

I don’t know about what movie can’t be made into porn but Braveheart would make for killer gay porn.

[quote comment="1245"]I don’t know about what movie can’t be made into porn but Braveheart would make for killer gay porn.[/quote]

I actually stared in it. I played Wellhung Wallace.

im pretty sure sound of music ahs been made into porn

sound of orgasm or something

my personal favourite was the epic story of roman soldier turned cage fighter erectus maximus in glad-he-ate-her

The English Patient - that would be hot hot porn. Let’s play doctor!! bow chicka bow bow

And I was first - get the fuck out?!!

Are you kidding me?.. #4 would be like lesbian sex punishments or something like that.. it can be made into porn

Give me a while, I’ll think of plots for the others too

:p

i almost crashed my car when i went by the adult theater in north sac and saw “edward penishands” on the sign. i was totally tempted to actually go see it.

[quote comment="1246"][quote comment="1245"]I don’t know about what movie can’t be made into porn but Braveheart would make for killer gay porn.[/quote]

I actually stared in it. I played Wellhung Wallace.[/quote]

… then you woke up?

Kevin, don’t lie…you know you played Sammy Small.

A Wiggly Saffri

I mean.. why would you turn 4 grown men who do kids entertainment in the campest way possible into a porn movie?

They’ve suffered enough

[quote comment="1250"]Are you kidding me?.. #4 would be like lesbian sex punishments or something like that.. it can be made into porn

Give me a while, I’ll think of plots for the others too

:p[/quote]

Number four was a joke… a little bit of sarcasm

[quote comment="1251"]i almost crashed my car when i went by the adult theater in north sac and saw “edward penishands” on the sign. i was totally tempted to actually go see it.[/quote]

Like you don’t own it

Ha! As if! I’m betting folks would flock to rent The Sound Of Moaning, in which Juicy Andrews tutors a whole family of horny little Von Tramps. Or Not-So-Old Yeller, in which a boy’s dog teaches the extended family about the joys of back-door, doggy-style lovin’.

I’ll give you Philadelphia. That’s a tough sell.

My all-time favorite porn title?

On Golden Blonde.

[quote comment="1247"]im pretty sure sound of music ahs been made into porn

sound of orgasm or something

my personal favourite was the epic story of roman soldier turned cage fighter erectus maximus in glad-he-ate-her[/quote]

Did she taste like chicken?

The best porn remake title I’ve heard is Armeget-it-on

[quote comment="1255"][quote comment="1250"]Are you kidding me?.. #4 would be like lesbian sex punishments or something like that.. it can be made into porn

Give me a while, I’ll think of plots for the others too

:p[/quote]

Number four was a joke… a little bit of sarcasm[/quote]

Ah, now normally I could sense that, but I’m having a bad day. And it’s not like YOU to use sarcasim. What’s world coming to

Umm, ok.

Yeah, sick bastards at the porn studios could really turn ANYTHING into a porn.

Even a documentary about the lives of the Saints or about the head of the Church. Maybe I’m not as well-versed in movie spin-off porn, but I’m sure those have been made too, right?

[quote comment="1251"]i almost crashed my car when i went by the adult theater in north sac and saw “edward penishands” on the sign. i was totally tempted to actually go see it.[/quote]

if johnny depp is in it and nekid, which would be requirement for porn, one would think… i’m there

[quote comment="1257"]Ha! As if! I’m betting folks would flock to rent The Sound Of Moaning, in which Juicy Andrews tutors a whole family of horny little Von Tramps. Or Not-So-Old Yeller, in which a boy’s dog teaches the extended family about the joys of back-door, doggy-style lovin’.

I’ll give you Philadelphia. That’s a tough sell.

My all-time favorite porn title?

On Golden Blonde.[/quote]

Ah those saucy Von Tramp children.

[quote comment="1253"]Kevin, don’t lie…you know you played Sammy Small.[/quote]

It’s bigger than a baby’s arm

[quote comment="1264"][quote comment="1253"]Kevin, don’t lie…you know you played Sammy Small.[/quote]

It’s bigger than a baby’s arm[/quote]

is the baby inside the womb or outside the womb?

I have no idea, my mind is pretty much in the gutter all the time, so I can find porn in anything.

Yeah, I just thought about it for a few minutes and can’t, NOT, make a porn out of anything. I mean, for fun when I was in school, my friends and I used to play the t.v. guide game. As every channel scrolls around no matter what the name of the program is say it in a suggestive tone. I.e., “Prime Time with Chris HARDwick”, “When good pets go BAAAAD”, “The Naaaanny”. You get the idea, it takes a little, herbal encouragement too.

But I never did that.

[quote comment="1265"][quote comment="1264"][quote comment="1253"]Kevin, don’t lie…you know you played Sammy Small.[/quote]

It’s bigger than a baby’s arm[/quote]

is the baby inside the womb or outside the womb?[/quote]

pre conception

i had to laugh..cuz i have the classic Sex Wars!!

My boyfriend could probably come up with a whole catalogue of funny titles for this. His best mate distributes the stuff, and my man used to do soundtracks for them.

He’s seen it all really. Probably why we’re not that into porn

but that’s probably a little more about my personal life than you needed to know.

your mom likes applesauce.

Random trivia:

Julie Andrews felt a bit trapped in her “goody two-shoes” image and blamed it primarily on “The Sound Of Music”. She satirized the whole situation in the film “S.O.B.” where she actually went topless in a soft core porn film to break that image for her fictional character in the movie.

Seeing as I know nothing about porn I can’t help you with this one….. sorry.

[quote comment="1270"]your mom likes applesauce.[/quote]

she is such a whore

I think if they made “Footloose” into a porn, it would just kind of ruin the point of the whole film.

1) The Pound, to Music (gay porn, lots of butt action.

2) Fill my Dell, fella (straight porn, anal sex)

3) Hold Fella (gay soft porn, handjobs only)

4) Re-porned School Girls (lots of girl-on girl action)

5) Rimmed Lynn (Lesbo porn)

Sorry, Kevbo, I just have a mind that can turn anything into porn.

Is there really a porno named Edward Penishands??

You forgot the staple of any gay porn collection (I know because I’ve been to your house), “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”.

My favourite titles ever were films I saw in Amsterdam: “Poop shoot princess” and “F*** me where I stink”

I was going to say the Wizard of Oz could never be made into porn, but then I remembered your audience. Shame on me.

What about Sleeping Beauty? Damn.

You know, maybe it’s not me - maybe it’s your audience. ;o)

Am I the only person that wants to see All Dogs Go To Anus?

[quote comment="1278"]My favourite titles ever were films I saw in Amsterdam: “Poop shoot princess” and “F*** me where I stink”[/quote]
those are real titles? lol

I don’t know about the movie thing, but you had me at “Nazi Women.” I’d like to give them the Third Reich, if you know what I mean. Where can I find these women and have sex with them?

I hope The Sound Of Music never gets made into porn because I have to hear Psycho Bitch play the damn soundtrack 24/7. It’s killing me. The porn would be the nail in my coffin.

(singing) Edelweiss, edelweiss….with my penis I stick you…

YENTYL

[quote comment="1262"][quote comment="1251"]i almost crashed my car when i went by the adult theater in north sac and saw “edward penishands” on the sign. i was totally tempted to actually go see it.[/quote]

if johnny depp is in it and nekid, which would be requirement for porn, one would think… i’m there[/quote]

Damn… I gotta figure out how to use this comment box…so sorry Kev! Anyway, in response to the above, I wanted to add…

I almost crashed my car running to the video store… johnny depp naked? No brainer!

[quote comment="1275"]

Sorry, Kevbo, I just have a mind that can turn anything into porn.[/quote]

Ooh, what do you think they would do for the Goonies?

[quote comment="1266"] As every channel scrolls around no matter what the name of the program is say it in a suggestive tone. I.e., “Prime Time with Chris HARDwick”, “When good pets go BAAAAD”, “The Naaaanny”. You get the idea, it takes a little, herbal encouragement too.

[/quote]

You have some issues

[quote comment="1272"]Seeing as I know nothing about porn I can’t help you with this one….. sorry.[/quote]

Sure you don’t…. sure you don’t

[quote comment="1271"]Random trivia:

Julie Andrews felt a bit trapped in her “goody two-shoes” image and blamed it primarily on “The Sound Of Music”. She satirized the whole situation in the film “S.O.B.” where she actually went topless in a soft core porn film to break that image for her fictional character in the movie.[/quote]

All I saw there was “topless”.

[quote comment="1274"]I think if they made “Footloose” into a porn, it would just kind of ruin the point of the whole film.[/quote]

It is a major foot fetish film…. Kevin Bacon was in that version of it to. The guy is in EVERYTHING.

[quote comment="1275"]1) The Pound, to Music (gay porn, lots of butt action.

2) Fill my Dell, fella (straight porn, anal sex)

3) Hold Fella (gay soft porn, handjobs only)

4) Re-porned School Girls (lots of girl-on girl action)

5) Rimmed Lynn (Lesbo porn)

Sorry, Kevbo, I just have a mind that can turn anything into porn.[/quote]

I would say you have issues but to be honest that is what I like the most about you.

[quote comment="1276"]Is there really a porno named Edward Penishands??[/quote]

Yup

[quote comment="1277"]You forgot the staple of any gay porn collection (I know because I’ve been to your house), “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”.[/quote]

I really like how they reinacted the storming of Normandy in that one… aka Steve

[quote comment="1278"]My favourite titles ever were films I saw in Amsterdam: “Poop shoot princess” and “F*** me where I stink”[/quote]

You know that was my prom theme

[quote comment="1279"]I was going to say the Wizard of Oz could never be made into porn, but then I remembered your audience. Shame on me.

What about Sleeping Beauty? Damn.

You know, maybe it’s not me - maybe it’s your audience. ;o)[/quote]

I think sleeping beauty was about the dape rapist from match.com

[quote comment="1280"]Am I the only person that wants to see All Dogs Go To Anus?[/quote]

…….

(raises hand slowly)

[quote comment="1283"]YENTYL[/quote]

It was kind of dirty in it’s own way.

[quote comment="1285"]Damn… I gotta figure out how to use this comment box…so sorry Kev! Anyway, in response to the above, I wanted to add…

I almost crashed my car running to the video store… johnny depp naked? No brainer![/quote]

That is ok practice makes perfect

Spice World?

[quote comment="1291"][quote comment="1275"]1)
I would say you have issues but to be honest that is what I like the most about you.[/quote]

Awe, how sweet of you to say!

I crossed over to the dark side to read your blog… only because you included Porn to the title.

AND you disabled the comments field on myspace. EVIL! EVAAAAL!

Movie you can’t make a porn out of… ANNIE.

You guys are sick if you say otherwise.

Um…Kevin, I hate to mention this, but I’m thinkin’ your buddy, aka, ‘I held the dog’s legs,’ would be very much interested in a porn version of Old Yeller, Cujo, Lassie, or Homeward Bound…I’m just sayin’

March of the Penguins

[quote comment="1282"]I don’t know about the movie thing, but you had me at “Nazi Women.” I’d like to give them the Third Reich, if you know what I mean. Where can I find these women and have sex with them?

I hope The Sound Of Music never gets made into porn because I have to hear Psycho Bitch play the damn soundtrack 24/7. It’s killing me. The porn would be the nail in my coffin.

(singing) Edelweiss, edelweiss….with my penis I stick you…[/quote]

Now would you be listening to it before or after she did the meth? That music could lead to a huge party.

How about Children of the Corn? No meat there to work with.

Hey now Gremlins could turn into fun little vibrating toys that go faster when they come unto contact with body fluids. The wetter you are the faster they go. The only way to stop them would be to cum and crush them with pressure from the pelvic muscles. Could be potential for a lot of girl on girl for the peeking pervs.

[quote comment="1301"]I crossed over to the dark side to read your blog… only because you included Porn to the title.

AND you disabled the comments field on myspace. EVIL! EVAAAAL!

Movie you can’t make a porn out of… ANNIE.

You guys are sick if you say otherwise.[/quote]

I hope you didn’t catch anything by coming over here.

What the story of an orphan that just wants to find a “daddy” isn’t that what all porn is about in the end?

“Children of the Corn-hole?”

I’m just sayin’…(hangs head in shame…)

Had a good giggle over Wiggle’s Safari, though…my kids love that friggin movie…”Cocky the Cockatoo” anyone? Hey!!! There’s your porn right there!!!!! See, Kev! It IS possible!

I can’t get over the accompanying pic of Foley there. Just works. Yet, disturbing.

[quote comment="1311"]“Children of the Corn-hole?”

I’m just sayin’…(hangs head in shame…)

Had a good giggle over Wiggle’s Safari, though…my kids love that friggin movie…”Cocky the Cockatoo” anyone? Hey!!! There’s your porn right there!!!!! See, Kev! It IS possible![/quote]

I knew someone would pick up on the cornhole reference

I can’t think of any movie that couldn’t be made into porn, sorry. I guess I’m just sick that way.

What about Porn being made into musicals? I for one, would jump at the chance to see Deep Throat on Broadway!

Ice Age could not be made into a porn. I don’t think Airplane! could be made into a porn either, nothing to really work with. Snakes on a Plane: No need to even change the title.

madams family was a killer. “thing” had some goooooood times.

I think they play that every Saturday night..midnight at the Nuart theatre in Santa Monica………wait…maybe thats Rocky horror!

While I don’t have anything to offer by way of Hollywood to Porn…just wanated to say, good post…definitely worth the trip ‘over here’

So I can tell your subscriber-ship went down a bit. Those people are just dumb-asses. I still support your silly ass blogs! I had to laugh at Philadelphia… am I wrong for that…?

Kevin have you ever played the game where each player names a movie and the other players try to come up with porn names for it? It Rocks!!

Anyways . . as per your blog . . I LOVE the Gremlins Idea!!!!
That was fucking Hilarious!!!
I laughed out loud . . Very LOUDLY!!!
I think I scared my boyfreind . . as usual!! lol

[quote comment="1279"]I was going to say the Wizard of Oz could never be made into porn, but then I remembered your audience. Shame on me.

What about Sleeping Beauty? Damn.

You know, maybe it’s not me - maybe it’s your audience.