"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Oct
23

Only the lonely

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/23/06 @ 5:50 am

I was ordering a book on Amazon.com yesterday (yes I can read) and when it was time to ship it I noticed the gift wrap feature. For a second or two I thought about sending the book gift wrapped for shits and giggles. I mean who doesn’t like to get a present? Then I noticed you could send a little note with it. For ten minutes I sat there wondering what I would write myself.

Maybe something about my friendship:

Me,

Thanks for all the years together.

Much Love,
Kevin

Or how about something dirty:

Hand,

That was a hot night last Saturday, sorry I didn’t last longer.

Your buddy in spank,
Long Dong Silver

I could write something apologetic:

Liver,

Sorry for all the years of abuse.

-Me

Or maybe something condescending:

Hey fat ass,

I bought you this weight loss book, take a hint.

Signed,
Your Penis (which you used to be able to see)

After thinking about this for so long I decided that maybe I should just order the book the normal way it was too much pressure trying to figure out what I would write myself.

So if you were to send yourself or me a gift what would the card say?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

One Response to “Only the lonely”

  1. Say what you will, but Amazon does a lovely job with the giftwrapping.

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