Only the lonely

I was ordering a book on Amazon.com yesterday (yes I can read) and when it was time to ship it I noticed the gift wrap feature. For a second or two I thought about sending the book gift wrapped for shits and giggles. I mean who doesn’t like to get a present? Then I noticed you could send a little note with it. For ten minutes I sat there wondering what I would write myself.

Maybe something about my friendship:

Me,

Thanks for all the years together.

Much Love,
Kevin

Or how about something dirty:

Hand,

That was a hot night last Saturday, sorry I didn’t last longer.

Your buddy in spank,
Long Dong Silver

I could write something apologetic:

Liver,

Sorry for all the years of abuse.

-Me

Or maybe something condescending:

Hey fat ass,

I bought you this weight loss book, take a hint.

Signed,
Your Penis (which you used to be able to see)

After thinking about this for so long I decided that maybe I should just order the book the normal way it was too much pressure trying to figure out what I would write myself.

So if you were to send yourself or me a gift what would the card say?