"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Say Hello to my Little Friend

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/16/06 @ 6:44 am

Thanks everyone who watched the show last night and thanks to Bill Dawes for coming on, it was a good time that ended rather prematurely like most of my sexual experiences.

Last night after the show we went to the Saddle Ranch to have a few drinks. Trista and I were joined by Jeremy, Will, Kristen, John, Bill Dawes, and the Forgiver. A good time was had by all with some really interesting events, including intense discussions on how some people aren’t as funny if you know they have a penis and watching the good customers of the Saddle Ranch ride the mechanical bull. One of us ventured onto the bull last night and I have video of it on my phone but I have been asked not to release it to the general public. So I will just say it was a female and when that bull got a vibrating a look of joy washed over her face that might not be duplicated.

After having a few drinks last night I had to drain the lizard aka the love stick aka the terror squad aka Herman. When I headed into the bathroom at the Saddle Ranch I noticed that they had advertisements above the urinals which is something about LA that cracks me up. I walked up to a toilet and got ready to pull out “Goliath” when I heard, “Say hello to my little friend.” My cover was blown. I looked around to see who was being a smartass about my cock size and didn’t see anyone else in the bathroom. Shortly there after the voice came back saying, “All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one.”

I knew the quote and I looked up to realize that it was the Scarface video game ad that was residing above the pisser, it was one of those new fangled talking ads. At this point I became rather pissed off. Why you ask?


1) I don’t like people talking to me when I piss. It distracts me from the job at hand. I am in the bathroom to get something accomplished and hearing voices only impedes me from that goal. In fact it makes Mr. Happy retreat back into my pubic bone.

2) Scarface is the single most overrated gangster movie ever. The last thing I want to hear is a quote from the most overrated gangster film of all time. Goodfellas and the first two Godfathers blow Scarface out of the water, they always have and they always will. In fact Casino would rank above Scarface if it wasn’t for Sharon Stone who makes me want to slice her throat within 5 seconds of her walking on screen. (Currently Matthew Lillard in Scream holds the record for characters that make me want to kill at 3 seconds.)

I blame rappers for the rise of Scarface into this weird type of hallowed ground. Let’s face it rappers are unoriginal fucks. They sample most of their music and they all copy each other. Rims become popular… every rapper rushes out to get rims. Gold fronts become popular… they all rush out to get gold fronts. You can go down a list and most of the rappers fall into this stereotype. The most annoying is their obsession with Scarface. I love how a rapper relate to Tony’s rise to power with their own, like being in the rap game is anything like taking over a drug cartel.

This did get me thinking though. What if we all banded together to pick a random movie and elevate it to a status the likes of which has never been seen? It took Scarface like 15 years to get to a point where there were action figures made, t-shirts, and random crappy wall hangings you can win at the fair. I think if we all join together now we can make a difference.

So I propose this to all of you.

Let’s elevate Bring It On as the greatest sports movie ever made.

Who’s coming with me?

bring it on

If you want to know why Bring It On is the greatest movie ever here is my list of five reasons.

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

2 Responses to “Say Hello to my Little Friend”

  1. mr skin says:

    Hah, they made Barbies that look like Sharon Stone? That’s awesome!?

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