This is the fourth part in my “Catch a Convict Series” or “How to Get Prison Punani” whichever title you prefer.
You can read more of the series by clicking on the category title Convict Love.
After all the ridiculous hate mail and blogs being written about the whole prison letter thing I decided that there was only one way to handle this. Clearly the only logical thing I could do would be to mail the letter.
So I documented my trip to the post office in a nice little photo blog for all to enjoy.
Before I left the house I decided that I needed a little pick me up before I got going.
Here is a fun fact for the kids out there. The dollar I used to snort all of this I turned around and mailed to a non profit organization that helps rehabbing drug addicts.
After my nice little bump I felt a tad bit randy. I stumbled out of the house and I found some pussy.
Did you see what that whore was wearing? She totally deserved it. So after raping Garfield I decided to head out on the highway.
On my way to the post office I saw this little kid riding a tricycle. I think he thought that he was better than me because I was walking and he had some wheels. Being that I am the pure embodiment of evil I taught that little punk a lesson.
I tried to ride the tricycle a few blocks but gave up. I ditched it outside of a hospital. Since I had some time to kill I decided to go in and visit some old people. There was this old bitter lady named Eleanor that didn’t seem to have anyone that cared about her all that much. She didn’t have any guests and when looking through her charts seemed like a lost cause. So I decided to end her misery and pull the plug.
I figured I was just doing her and the health care system a favor.
Doing my good deed for the day I continued on my journey where I met this homeless guy Willie. Willie was down on his luck so I spent a few minutes teaching him to read.
After a few minutes together Willie was well on his way. In fact this girl Amy hinted that she might have a job for him writing. Wait what was I doing helping somebody out? I am on a pure path of destruction here the likes of which we have never seen.
To redeem myself for helping Willie I keyed a car.
I was almost at the post office but I didn’t feel like I have been evil enough so I stopped into Sam’s Club where I took the time to put Anthrax in individual bottles of water. Sure it took a bit of time but I guess my theory is anything worth doing is worth doing right.
After I finished of my box-o-anthrax I went around the corner to mail out my revised letter to the potential love of my life. I can’t wait to hear back from her.