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10 Things I Have Learned from Watching HBO’s Real Sex

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/10/06 @ 5:47 am

HBO’s Real Sex has been on like twenty years at this point. The other night after watching The Wire they had a retrospective of their history and showed a bunch of clips. I would like to take this time to share with you the lessons I have learned from watching the series.

1) The Miss Black Nude Beauty Queen pageant is one you don’t want to miss. They do handstands and shit naked.

2) Pornstars have really shitty teeth.

3) Swingers are never attractive

4) Pornstars can be really funny… “For being a porn star I have very good morals.”- Jenna Haze (she said this before she had a three way with her boyfriend filming it)

jenna haze

5) The only people uglier than swingers are nudists. The nudists on Real Sex are always the last people you would ever want to see nude. “Hey look it’s Uncle Steve………nooooooooooooooo.”

6) Women will pay hundreds of dollars to take a class in how to jerk off their man when they could have saved the money and just asked him a simple question. Plus the techniques the female instructor was teaching them were things that just wouldn’t feel good. I don’t want a girl to do the Jay-Z HOVA hand sign while jerking me off.

7) Listening to an interview with a porn star will drain your will to live. I have actually interviewed one and I know I wanted to slice my wrist by the time it was done.

8) South American men are much hairier than I am. So I have that going for me, which is nice.

9) A guy spent $16,800 for a threesome with two women… Meaning my car is worth a threesome at the Bunny Ranch.

10) There is a fetish camp where guys saddle up women and ride them around. They call it Pony play….. My sex life is so boring.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

4 Responses to “10 Things I Have Learned from Watching HBO’s Real Sex”

  1. eva says:


  2. Sobretta Franjipan says:

    I hate to burst your bubble but South American men are not hairy at all in general. Nice and smooth-I speak from experience.

    South American porn stars? I don’t know. :)

  3. Dave says:

    Sorry to bust another bubble but take a look around most people in general are ugly, what makes you think nudists would be any different?

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