They are one of THOSE couples
(Some people are waiting for the prison letter, some people are dreading it. I have it half finished and I just don’t like it yet. I will work on it this weekend.)
In two of my history classes I have this couple that comes into class everyday holding hands. They always sit next to each other and I never see them on campus apart. One of the people that usually sit near me in my history class has four classes total with this couple and she says that they are always like this. Is it wrong that I am waiting for this to end and end very badly?
I know you are all saying I am cynical and that I am just jealous…. Maybe just downright mean spirited but I feel I am just in my feelings towards this. Here are my reasons.
1) She is a “my boyfriend girl”.- In one of my classes we broke into discussions groups where we finished talking about the topic early. We were all just shooting the shit and EVERY sentence she started was started with the phrase “my boyfriend”. It scares me to think that she probably has no interests or thoughts other than her boyfriend. In fact she made him sound like god, I was considering going over and dry humping his face.
2) You don’t need to hold hands walking in between classes.- Occasionally cute and romantic, but doing it every time you walk anywhere it is like they are in high school. Plus they do that annoying walk where they do it side by side and don’t break their hand hold for anything, which is just fucking rude. I was caught walking behind them after class down a narrow corridor and it was like being caught behind an 85 year old driving on a one lane road. Except with this I didn’t have the reassurance that the grim reaper was coming soon for them.
The only thing I can hold out for is the breakup and we all know that young, immature love doesn’t last so I am going to propose a contest, let’s do this for shits and giggles. Ok I will up the ante to a t-shirt out of the pointlessbanter.net store.
THE CONTEST
1) Place your guess on their breakup date.
2) Then guess what the main indicator is going to be. It can be one of any of these five or one of your own:
The Indicators:
-One of them stops attending class entirely because they are too depressed to see the other one there.
-They come to class separately and sit at opposite ends of the room.
-She comes to class all puffy eyed and tries to hold back tears.
-They get put together in a group and she continually drops whore references because he cheated on her with another woman. For example:
Him: Jefferson slept with many of his slaves and is believed to have fathered many children.
Her: That is what you would have done, slept with those whore slaves. But then again you would sleep with anything including that fat ass Cindy.
-Or she slashes him in the face with a box cutter like the middle school girl on The Wire.
So there you go… Just guess the date and the breakup indicator…
