Ten reasons why I am worse than Hitler

Apparently the other day there was a blog written about me comparing me to Hitler. It’s always someone’s last grasp at attention to compare someone or something to Hitler or the Nazis. However it kind of got me thinking that maybe I am worse than one of the most horrible people to ever walk the planet.

I decided to sit down to ponder if I was worse than Hitler and started writing this out. Maybe… Just maybe, I am worse than Hitler. (Well you have to take out the millions of people he had killed, we might need to overlook that. Oh and the World War he started. I guess those are uh… minor points for today’s discussion.) So here are ten reasons why I am worse than Hitler.

10) Hitler never gave Bjorn Schuster an Atomic Wedgie ripping his underwear.

9) Hitler never cheated in Biology by writing notes on a lab table.

Hitler never called Katie T.   a “cum dumpster”.

7) Hitler never owned spandex.

6) Hitler never broke a window while throwing a football at a house he was babysitting at.

5) Hitler never insulted Andy Dick, Patton Oswalt, and Beth S from the Real World.

4) Hitler never hit his sister in the head with a golf ball.

3) Hitler never gave Nathan Benetiz a DDT.

2) Hitler never drilled a hole in his basketball coach’s swimming pool before one of the hottest days of the summer.

1) Hitler never was walked in on hooking up with his girlfriend’s best friend by his girlfriend, then talked his girlfriend out of being mad at him and had sex with her all in the same night. (We all know Ava Braun would have just joined in, that’s how she rolls.)

So there you have it… You all know the truth. I guess I AM worse than Hitler…