People Are Sheep
People are sheep. I am reminded of this on an almost daily basis. Most recently I saw this concept in action at the airport in Philadelphia on Sunday.
Donk was already mildly irritated because the flight had been delayed, leaving Mrs. Donk and I to stand around doing what we do best: not talking to each other and not making eye contact. The waiting area was pretty small, but for some reason when the United Airlines employee got on the intercom to announce that boarding would commence, no one could understand a fucking word she could say; the speakers were too tiny, and her voice too mumbly.
The large crowd (is there any such thing as a half-full flight anymore?) immediately panicked like Nicole Ritchie in a Malt Shop. “Oh my God!” “I can’t hear what she’s saying!” “Can you hear her?” “What Zone are they boarding?” “This is ridiculous!” Every time the woman spoke on the intercom, the teeming masses became more and more riled up, and packed in closer and closer, jostling each other to cram forward so that they could get on the plane before anyone else. Here’s a couple of actual photos I took:
It was one of the most ridiculous displays of crowd-mentality I’ve ever seen. And for what? So they could hurry up and get on the plane to their assigned seats and sit there on their MickyD-fed asses and wait? Mrs. Donk and I were left shaking our heads with disgust…as we cut a swath to the front of the crowd using a broken beer bottle and a used tampon (I’ve never seen a crowd part so fast).
OK people, share some “People are Sheep” stories with Donkster. C’mon, it’ll be cathartic!
Baaah.
Bah bah black sheep… have you any wool?
I’ve used stink bombs in the past. They work great for grocery store & restaurant lines.
The way people rallied behind sending troops to Iraq to find Bin Laden, or WMDs, or spread democracy, or whatever bogus reason they gave us.
Hmm, I guess that one isn’t too cathartic.
How about the way everyone thought tightening the Mexican border was the key to fighting domestic terrorism, and now it no longer seems to be an issue?
How about the way people still watch the main stream media with a straight face?
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SHEEP! Oops, I just pooped out some nuggets. be right back…
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Yes. Hang on, lemme shave my junk and I’ll give you some
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I’ve found that my gaseous expulsions are just as effective at clearing a place out. Works great when the in-laws are over!
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What? All of these seem perfectly reasonable to me. BAAAAAHH
Ahh, the crowd. I was at an N’Sync concert back in 1998 and it was this really great venue, right on the side of the ocean, by this big cliff that looks over the water. Halfway through the show, people started throwing themselves over the cliff, into the rocks and the crashing waves below. My friend, with whom I attended the concert and is an associate professor of sociology at Walla Wall Community College, said that it was typical behavior, during population booms, for some of the species to hurl themselves over the sides of cliffs as they seek food and shelter and that they pack themselves so close together, many follow the motion of the herd, even to their destruction. I was a little annoyed by the pracitce until the band joined them and leapt to their doom.
Sex Mahoney for President
I would love to respond to this, but I have to turn on MTV real quick to find out what I’m buying at the mall this weekend.
I’m more of a lemming than a sheep, though. Get it right. And recognize, fucker!
And most importantly…is “Blood Mountain” as good as I hear? I want to hear from you before I buy…so I can be your sheep. ‘Cause you like sheep…BAAAA!
I prefer to think of “The Masses” as Cattle. Sheep are too cute and ?? Wait did I say Cute awww shit I mean…Ahh Fuck it. mmmmmm Sheeep
Those look like some award winning photos to me, Donkmeister! Ever think about taking up photojournalism?
Here’s one sheep-like activity I enjoy: in a huge group of loud people, make a loud “shhhhhhhhh” sound and watch how quiet it gets. The only problem is that when the room goes pitch silent, everyone will be looking at you.
But you’re so sexy everyone looks at you period, so that won’t be a problem.
Sheep moments? Any fashion trend. Waxing (why else would we do it? some stupid bitch bellied up and now we are all stuck with it, who was she anyway and how much would it cost to bump her off). Ummmm, what was the question?
Mister Donkey Sir…to continue with this whole thing about how I’m so offeended that you didn’t visit…you were in Philly???? dude..come on…that’s like so next door and I was there Friday night…come on dude..what’s up with that? *giggle* Now onto my sheep contribution…I love seeing people suddenly go from a normal crowd of people to raving idiots the moment the big furry mascot comes out at the hockey/baseball /whatever game and says ” Who wants free t-shirts?” Suddenly everyone is like pushing people over the balconies and beating each other up and OMG, god forbid the mascot thorws it to the little kid! They’ll stomp on him and make sure he doesn’t grow into that shirt! *sigh* I love it
They always sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher when they speak into those things. Get the microphone out of your throat, you whore!
Donk, I will have to use that “Used tampon” technique at the grocery store. Mine is awfully cramped, and I need something to clear the narrow aisles.
I would prefer not to talk about my sheep story… I can’t believe it was filmed.
one word … Americans.
Yes Americans are the biggest Sheep out there – but since you said a story regarding my personal life … I’d have to say it was at the airport as well. I was stuck in Cincinnati airport and every flight was delayed about 18 and more thanks to beautiful snow storm in freaking November … this was thanksgiving weekend, I knew I should be shot.
Waiting to get on, there was “rumor” about the bathroom’s breaking down because the water was freezing. So of course everyone had to pee and started crying out that there weren’t enough bathrooms available and that this was inhumane, etc etc etc. The lines were HUGE .. I mean it looked like it was a theme ride park kinda lines. Well, because of the large “influx” the bathrooms got “stuffed” and the “frozen water” with “frozen debris” started to spill all over the place. Needless to say … I wanted to go on a shooting rampage and kill’em sheep
Can we say duct tape and plastic sheeting?
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mooooo
The airport is always like this. My last flight had an uncomfortable moment when two passengers almost boxed over who should be in front of who in the line to get on the plane. Thank goodness no one has any real problems to worry about so they can focus their attention on being a-holes about where to stand.
Baaaaa…
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Sweet! I’ll sell it on eBay and make a small fortune!
Have you been to Wal*Mart or KMart when they announced their specials on the weekends, primetime or anytime during the holidays? *whistles mary had a lil lamb as she strolls away*
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and good riddance to them all
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It’s a really good album, but not as good as their last, which was a fuckin classic. *** out of ****
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you’ve had coitus with a sheep, haven’t you?
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I’m particularly proud of the last photo. Moments later I defeated that miscreant with my wife’s bloody tampon.
I was sexier when I had my orange glasses
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i like to wax actually. keeps my junk nice and smooth for the little lady…should she ever decide to go near my penis
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just think – we were mere miles from eachother.
LOL, that’s a great example. People go apeshit trying to get those $5 t-shirts!
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are you talking to me?
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it works like a charm. hell, i use it myself and i don’t even HAVE a vagina! (don’t ask any questions)
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and i still have the tape, so WATCH yourself
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jesus what a horrific story. fuckin idiots
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Um, yeah, I guess so…
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admit it, you were one of the guys arguing, werent you
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a VERY small fortune. see what i did there?
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you kiddin me? Donk camps out all day in Wal Mart waiting for those terrif. sales. Baaaaaa
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I will stab you.
I have no interesting stories, but that picture of the stuffed animals riding the sheep is too fucking cute!
~Cheewawamama~
sheep mentality… I bought the last Tool album without hearing any of it online first. I got what I deserved, a thin, shiny coaster and 3-D booklet to let my kids stare at in the car.
Sheep People
http://www.archive.org/details/SheepPeople