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I love Craigslist Hookers

By: Bobby Finstock on 09/19/06 @ 5:40 am

So I have to thank Trista for turning me onto the Casual Encounters section on craigslist.com. It is pure hilarity to read the ads of desperate men and see all the fake ads for cam girls and hookers. Recently the smokinggun.com had a post where the police in Bensalem Township, PA had a bust of hookers that were posting ads on craigslist.com. Of course I love a good hooker story so I was sucked in.

As with all their fun stories the smoking gun had mug shots of the arrested parties. While looking at the mug shots the thought of how much would the going rate be for these girls crossed my mind. So below are the pictures of the women arrested and the price I would pay if I was a john. (I always wanted to refer to someone as a john, I never thought it would be myself.)

craigslist hooker

Price: $75
Why: She isn’t bad. It is like a poor man’s Pretty Woman. Maybe hookers do look like Julia Roberts!

craigslist hooker

Price: $50
Why: Is that a wig or extensions? I don’t know. I think if you wanted to rank the three things I know the least amount on the face of the earth black girl’s hair would have to be number one followed by:

2. Jet propulsion
3. When you should defrost the refrigerator

craigslist hooker

Price: $10
Why: Uh what is that on her upper lip? My herpes radar is going off, otherwise known as hadar.

craigslist hooker

Price: Uh…
Why: If my herpes radar went crazy on the last one right now it exploded along with my dick screaming to me, “I am going to fall off if you fuck her.”

craigslist hooker

Price: I don’t sleep with men
Why: I am a big fan of Jeremiah Trotter from the Philadelphia Eagles but I wouldn’t pay to bone him.

craigslist hooker

Price: WTF
Why: Well I guess this answers the question, “What would Sandra Oh look like on crack?”

craigslist hooker

Price: $200
Why: Whenever someone is smiling for a mugshot like it is their fifteen minutes of fame it means they are absolutely bat shit insane. Insane girls are better in bed, thus worth the price.

craigslist hooker

Price: well…
Why: I take everything I just said in the previous section back.

craigslist hooker

Price: OMG
Why: I always wondered what happened to Robert Z’Dar that guy from Maniac Cop

robert zdar

And now I know….

So would anyone else like to name their prices?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

9 Responses to “I love Craigslist Hookers”

  1. Mercedes says:

    I freaking love this one!!! Damn sexy craig’s list bitches and you know you wanted to sleep with all of them =)

  2. [...] section on a cities craigslist is proportionate to the quality of the women in the city. In my ongoing quest to make fun of craigslist hookers I started to look through the Buffalo area’s craiglist  [...]

  3. cardiogirl says:

    I’m surprised these mug shots look so … good, by comparison to the celebrity mugshots we normally see. I am, most specifically, thinking of Nick Nolte’s famous mugshot where his hair is crazy spiked out.

    Lots of fun! Good job.

  4. Robin says:

    Hey that was pretty cool. If I was a guy, and I *had* to pick, I think it would be the one you rated at $50.

    Guess I kind of get the Julia Roberts resemblance–bit of a stretch though. Maybe you used beer goggles?

    The $200 chick? She reminds me of a friend who says Scorpios usually have that front tooth gap. Yeah, she *looks* sweet as pie, but do you know what her motto is? It’s MMS: “Men must suffer.” Oh the humanity

  5. Robin says:

    Why did a silhouette of a guy come up as an icon on my comment? I don’t get it

  6. Midwest says:

    Funny as heck!

  7. Elaine says:

    This is hilarious!

  8. Wow….. I always wondered why the hookers on craigslist never e-mailed me anything but ads *sarcasm*

  9. JC says:

    They´re excused because mug shots don´t use photoshop. Unfortunately, many swingers and craigslist hookers don´t either and for that there is no excuse!!!

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