So I have to thank Trista for turning me onto the Casual Encounters section on craigslist.com. It is pure hilarity to read the ads of desperate men and see all the fake ads for cam girls and hookers. Recently the smokinggun.com had a post where the police in Bensalem Township, PA had a bust of hookers that were posting ads on craigslist.com. Of course I love a good hooker story so I was sucked in.
As with all their fun stories the smoking gun had mug shots of the arrested parties. While looking at the mug shots the thought of how much would the going rate be for these girls crossed my mind. So below are the pictures of the women arrested and the price I would pay if I was a john. (I always wanted to refer to someone as a john, I never thought it would be myself.)
Why: She isn’t bad. It is like a poor man’s Pretty Woman. Maybe hookers do look like Julia Roberts!
Why: Is that a wig or extensions? I don’t know. I think if you wanted to rank the three things I know the least amount on the face of the earth black girl’s hair would have to be number one followed by:
2. Jet propulsion
3. When you should defrost the refrigerator
Why: Uh what is that on her upper lip? My herpes radar is going off, otherwise known as hadar.
Why: If my herpes radar went crazy on the last one right now it exploded along with my dick screaming to me, “I am going to fall off if you fuck her.”
Price: I don’t sleep with men
Why: I am a big fan of Jeremiah Trotter from the Philadelphia Eagles but I wouldn’t pay to bone him.
Why: Well I guess this answers the question, “What would Sandra Oh look like on crack?”
Why: Whenever someone is smiling for a mugshot like it is their fifteen minutes of fame it means they are absolutely bat shit insane. Insane girls are better in bed, thus worth the price.
Why: I take everything I just said in the previous section back.
Why: I always wondered what happened to Robert Z’Dar that guy from Maniac Cop
And now I know….
So would anyone else like to name their prices?