5 Ways to Get Even with your Co-Workers When You’re Having a Bad Day
From: http://www.kfmb.com/stories/story.63730.html
Vons Worker Accused Of Putting Needles In Donuts
Last Updated:
09-18-06 at 6:53PM
He’s accused of putting pins in coworkers’ donuts at a Mira Mesa Vons, because he was having a bad day. Police say it went down on tape, but the suspect is denying he did it.Derrick Lentz, 19, appeared in court Monday, facing a felony charge for his actions on what he told police was just a bad day. He’s accused of booby-trapping a box of donuts last week.Lentz, who worked in the deli section, reportedly went into a break room, opened up an employee refrigerator and started pushing the pins into the donuts that belonged to another 18-year-old employee.”We do have evidence. There is video of the defendant in the break room when this occurred,” said Deputy District Attorney Melissa Vasel.Lentz’s coworker bit into one of the donuts and suffered minor injuries to the mouth. No one seems to know why the Mira Mesa College student would do something so random and dangerous. Police initially reported that the individual hurt wasn’t targeted for any specific reason.”Can’t speak for what his possible motive was, in this case. I just think we’re fortunate here that nobody was seriously hurt,” Vasel said.The actual charge against Lentz is one count of adulterating food, which is a felony. His bail is set at $50,000, and at last word, he was still in custody.
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Ya know what, I love donuts so fucking much that I MIGHT have just kept on eating and taken the hundreds of little pin-pricks. It would almost be worth the sugary, doughy goodness.
Seriously though, this kid is fuckin bush league. He put pins in a donut and let a co-worker eat it because he was having a bad day? Dude, if you’re going to do something, you gotta be prepared to go all the way with it. I mean, get creative, live your dreams. Here, I’ll even give you some ideas for next time you have a bad day.
1. Put rat poison in your co-worker’s GoGurt. When he begins to cramp up, give him some Ex-Lax.
GoGurt – Try our new Amazin’ Arsenic Flavor!
2. Core out your co-worker’s apple. Fill it with Fire-Ants and replace the top.
3. Poke a hole in the bottom of your co-worker’s can of Mountain Dew. Once it has completely drained, replace the liquid with anti-freeze. Glue hole and watch hysterically as your co-worker coughs up pieces of his stomach and lungs! Bad Day over!
Moments later, Chuck’s vital organs would shut down! Do the Dew Indeed!
4. With a sharp knife, shave off a few thin slices of flesh from your thigh. Then, replace the meat in your friend’s turkey sandwich with your leg meat. You’ll be laughing all the way to the ER!
5. Just go ahead and get it over with: Kill your co-worker. C’mon, you know it’s the only way the voices will stop. And besides, the golden leprechaun told you he’d not only aid with your escape, but give you a shiny treasure. So do it: baptize yourself with his blood!
Anyone else got some great ideas? I’d love to hear them!
I don’t have any other ideas to contribute but will think on the options I’ve seen on what my co-workers may soon be facing…thanks for the advice haha
Put sardines in somebody’s curtain rods. They will NEVER find the source of the stench.
I just spray my AIDS ridden blood in their drinks
I don’t know if you read about this, but I stole my co-worker’s bell and sent him a ransom note. Then, I had a bunch of my blog readers send post cards from all over the country from “the bell liberation front”. He still doesn’t know where his bell is and it’s killing him!
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Yeah, this really might work with Donk, he loves hime some fudge…
I don’t know, Donkster, my mind doesn’t work like this…although I do have an ingenius plan to get Farmer Vincent to eat his veggies…
We’re shorthanded at work, so the best revenge right now is calling off sick. But I could see one guy pissing me off in the future and I would either tell him to meet me in the employee bathroom naked with the lights out right before a delivery guy went back there to use the can, or grind up laxatives and put them in his booze.
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the definition of pure evil
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after reading this, i don’t think you and i can be friends anymore
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due that is SOOO 1990. get with the times brutha
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ohhh boy….the creme-filled ones are my favorite. well, they USED to be my favorite until about a minute ago.
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judging by the 6 minute gap between comments, i’m guessing you were taking a dump
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damn, now that’s some creative shit! sounds like you may have used this one already
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fuck, is that why my Perrier was dark-red when I was visiting you in LA?
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yeah i remember that. Good stuff!! But not as good as slicing off your leg meat and making him eat it
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boy, if you can get him to do that I will renounce my atheism. it’ll never happen though
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Yeah, just wait and see…[insert maniacal laughter here]
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I’ll probably never have the chance to say first again. And actually Mtn. Dew is pretty tasty.
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and apparently i don’t know how this whole quote thing works. damn i suck. please don’t put pins in my donuts…
I put a couple of drops of visene in a visiting quality auditor’s coffee when he busted one of our girls for something petty like not having her collar buttoned down. He spent half his trip in the hotel with the green apple sidestep and he thought he just had “traveler’s complaint.”
If you’re pissed at the whole office, wait till quitting time and give a bag of microwave popcorn to the dumbest person in the office and tell them that the popcorn button isn’t working and to leave it in for six or seven minutes. The smell of burnt popcorn lingers for days.
Simple, yet effective:
1. Eat your coworkers’ children.
2. Truly enjoy it.
They’ll be emotionally shattered for…well, ever. Plus, children are the human equivalent of really nice veal. Mmmmm, veal-babies.