Did you hear the news?

There was some rather exciting news that I stumbled across today. (Actually Hess sent it to me.)

Did you hear about this?

“I was totally excited!”

“It totally gave me wood”

This is taken from news.com

Retailers peddle padded bras for girls

BREAST-enhancing padded bras for girls as young as six are being sold in Victorian shops.

Childhood experts have warned parents they could be baiting pedophiles by dressing their young girls as raunchy women.

Tiny matching lingerie sets of lacy bras and knickers in many children’s brands including Bratz, Saddle Club and Barbie, have hit the shelves aimed at girls who are barely old enough for school.

The Herald Sun last week revealed the latest Bratz Babyz range included sexually provocative baby dolls dressed in leather and lingerie.

The padded Bratz “bralettes” were among more than 30 different junior bra styles starting at size six on sale at a city Target store visited by the Herald Sun yesterday.

The Australian Family Association warned parents against sexualising
their children. “We have a growing problem with pedophilia and people
viewing children as sex objects,” spokeswoman Angela Conway said.

“Children do not need these products and I am appalled. It is more
than bad taste. The sexual portrayal of children in this country is
illegal and these products are pandering to just that.”

Australian Childhood Foundation CEO Dr Joe Tucci said padded bras
were “the most ridiculous piece of clothing a parent could buy”.

Bratz distributor Funtastic defended the range.

“The idea of the padding is for girls to be discreet as they develop,” a spokeswoman said.

“It is more about hiding what you have got than showing it off. It
is certainly not there to make children look like they have breasts.”

Target also stood by the underwear range. It provided “fashionable
items that give girls modesty and style as they go through development
changes”, a spokeswoman said.

No wonder why teenage girls are giving up anal at 13. What the fuck? I don’t get the whole concept of turning kids into sex objects. It’s simply dumbfounding to me and yet it just keeps getting worse and worse. I consider myself rather liberal but damn this is going a tad bit far.

To make it easy for parents (because apparently they can’t handle doing this themselves) I am going to make a list of how to not do things to turn your daughter into a whore.

1) Do not buy your daughter a padded bra especially if they are six years old - I think that would be common sense but apparently not. Are her parents going to splurge on her first nipple piercing at age 8? Maybe a clit piercing at age 10? What the fuck do you give her for her sweet 16 an orgy with the Chippendale’s?

2) If your daughter is playing with Barbie and she has Skipper, Barbie, and Ken naked in a hot tub, burn the dolls. - Your daughter has been paying attention when mommy, daddy, and their special friend hang out.

3) Until your kid can wipe their own ass they shouldn’t have their ears pierced- For the life of me I can’t figure out why people get a baby’s ears pierced. There is no reason for it at all. Kids rip shit, poke at shit, piercings get infected, why put your child through that? So you can accessorize their outfit?

4) Contrary to what you think Wild Things is not a family friendly movie- I love going to blockbuster and watching kids pick movies out with their parents. A few months before I saw the light and had netflix, I was in blockbuster looking for something to rent when a kid that had to be around the age of ten brought Wild Things up to her parents and said that is what she wanted to rent. Her parents without blinking brought the movie up to the front and rented it for her. I mean I saw Beverly Hills Cop at age 14 and I turned out okay but isn’t there kind of a difference between the two. Wait maybe that is why I am vulgar.

5) If your kid is fellating her Popsicle nip it in the bud- It can only lead to trouble

There you have it. Five easy steps to prevent your daughter from being a total whore. Of course if I ever have a daughter I am just going to invest in a chastity belt.