"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Can you get the chair for a DUI?

By: Bobby Finstock on 09/7/06 @ 6:19 am

From yahoo news:

Celebrity Paris Hilton was arrested in
Hollywood early on Thursday on suspicion of drunk driving, Los
Angeles police said.

Police pulled the hotel heiress over and tested her for
intoxication after seeing her drive erratically, Los Angeles
police officer Robert Andreno told Reuters.

“She was arrested so, yes, she failed the sobriety test,”
Andreno said.

Los Angeles police spokeswoman Marjan Mobasser said Hilton
was stopped by traffic officers in the Hollywood area at about
1:20 a.m.

The 25-year-old heiress to the Hilton hotel and real estate
dynasty has achieved celebrity through saturation media
coverage of her hard-partying lifestyle and a growing number of
television appearances.

She is best known for her hit reality show “The Simple
Life” and for a sex video that showed up on the Internet.

Earlier this year a judge ordered Hilton to stay away from
a Los Angeles party planner who accused her of bombarding him
with angry phone calls, shoving him and threatening his life.

I didn’t have a blog for today.

I woke up this morning and turned on the computer so I could print out my essay for my 8:30 class and this was the headline on yahoo news.

Because of this event I would like to announce that I am going to become a born again Christian because this proves beyond a reasonable doubt that there is a god.

I think there are three possible ways this plays out:

1) After a rousing national televised trial Paris where Paris gets railroaded by the court, she gets sent to the most hardcore women’s prison in the state of California. At this prison all her enemies plot to destroy her (Lohan, Rick Solomon, Me). One of her old friends from the force helps run the prison and designs a plan for her escape but is later killed during the escape which the powers that be plan to frame Paris for. Knowing the escape plan was a setup Paris has to improvise and uses her belt to glide down the power lines from the prison. Once outside the prison’s walls Paris tries to track down her enemies to clear her name forever.

Wait a second, I think I fell asleep watching Tango and Cash last night.

2) She is beheaded.

3) Paris pretty much pays whatever it takes to get out of it and it all goes away with nobody bringing it up again because she didn’t do anything exciting like make anti-semitic remarks or roll the car down a canyon highway with her kids in it.

You know what come to think of it this sucks. Nothing is going to happen…. I’m going back to bed.

(I am sorry that you had to read this. I just wanted to make a Tango and Cash reference.)

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

Comments are closed.

© 2006 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound