Emmy’s worst dressed from the straight males perspective

I didn’t watch the Emmy Awards last night. Frankly I think award shows are a complete and utter waste of time. Most awards just suck, well except for the top blogger voting at mysimplemind.com, remember this is the last week you can vote.

Anyways at the start of the year I did a blog like this with the worst dressed of the year. Now I decided to come back and give you my review of the worst dressed ladies at the Emmy Awards. I would like to remind all of you that I know nothing about fashion, I can barely dress myself, and I still have a hard time grasping the concept of matching. This qualifies me to give you the straight male’s take on the worst dressed chicks at the Emmy Awards…. Let’s dive right in…

Eva Longoria you unoriginal whore. I liked this dress better when Marylin Monroe wore it. Sometimes it isn’t good to copy things that have been done before leaving things to annals of history this list would include: remaking the Dukes the of Hazard, the return of bell bottoms, you wearing that dress, and people still giving a shit about Madonna.

I have no idea who you are. You were in Old School and I think you are on that show Grey’s Lobotomy. I have a penis and HBO so I won’t be watching your show ever on Sunday nights. While the dress looks like drapes from Barney the Dinosaur’s Apartment I am concerned about your skin tone. Get out and get some sun I can barely see the monitor with the reflection of light off of your tits.

Jesus Virgina you might want to cover those bad boys up. You aren’t young and they aren’t pert anymore. Those things are larger than the pillows I slept on last night. In fact I have a major hankering for a glass of milk.

Sigh… Cheryl Hines I like you. I like you a lot. I don’t know if you killed a peacock for the back of your dress or what but nobody wants to see a target on a girl’s back unless it is a tattoo above their ass.

I have no idea who you are either. But I like what you are wearing, I think it is kind of hot and skanky. It’s like you are dressed up for a night out on the town, which shows that you probably shouldn’t be at the Emmy Awards. Well unless you are one of the hookers brought in to entertain the big wigs.

WTF is Tracey Gold doing at the Emmy awards? Well I guess this is better than the last time we saw her.

Apparently she is fond of Prison Grey.

Finding out that you munch carpet was like finding out that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. I still can’t talk about it. You could wear a potato sack and I would still drool. It’s things like this that question my faith in a higher being.

You know for years I wondered what ever happened to former New York Jets Defensive End Joe Klecko.

After seeing this picture now I know. I really liked your work on West Wing Joe…

That is the straight male’s take on the fashion missed at the Emmy Awards.