Lessons I have learned in the kitchen

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My nephew the other was dipping his chicken nuggets in applesauce. Everyone that the table made a face but it spurred on a conversation about weird food combinations. Throughout my life I have made a lot of dumb choices with food. Here is a list:

Zima and kool-aid packets- Not only does it taste like shit… Wait, why the fuck was I drinking Zima? Ah high school.

Butter with A1 Sauce- Drunken, fat Kevin at the end of a golf tournament was so hungry that he decided to dip a stick of butter in A1 sauce and eat it. It was about as tasty as me licking the asshole of Courtney Love after she was on a bender for three days and didn’t shower.

But it still isn’t Kool-Aid- For some reason in sixth grade we thought we needed to revolutionize the energy drink. We decided to up the ante past the sugar content in Kool-Aid and make a mixture of Pixie Stixs and Smarties with water. While it tasted horrible Pablo Escobar would have been proud at are “cutting” skills.

Wait a second… Could someone please explain to me when I googled Pixie Stixs I got this?

WTF? Eh, who am I kidding I’d do her. I could use wanna be dreds like horse reigns.

Moving on.

I did engineer one of the greatest combos ever though.

Cool Ranch Doritos and cinnamon applesauce- I used to always have applesauce and cool ranch doritos in my lunch as a kid. We were on a field trip one day and I didn’t have access to a plastic spoon. So I dipped the cool ranch doritos in the applesauce to eat it and the greatest new food combination ever was invented. Sure it gave me gas whenever I ate them together but something about it worked.

So what odd food combinations have you tried?