My One Day as a Cam Girl

In my blog yesterday I announced my desire to be a female cam whore. I have to confess though the blog is like a year old. I had to bring it back in order to write this blog. It’s a confession of sorts about my day as a cam whore. Please remember these events took place months ago.

Youngwetbitches.fak hired me for a day. They thought I would bring something different to the table, that I would be the only cam girl that resembled Jeremy Piven. Apparently they thought it would be a good marketing approach. I agreed to do a six-hour shift. Here is my running diary.

Hour 1:

I am really excited that I can work from home. Today I just rolled out of bed and threw on a Mets cap. I wonder how many people are going to pay to get a cam show from me?

So far the first 45 minutes have gone by and it has been pretty boring. Nobody has really taken a bite. I am playing a rousing game of Sims maybe I will blog about it?

Customers: 0

Hour 2:

It’s into the second hour for me now… No customers as of yet. I am starting to get a little bored. I am over the Sims, they are kind of lame, and I feel like I don’t have a life by playing that game. This girl turned me onto a new website, something doodle. Let me check it out maybe it will help pass the time.

Customers: 0

Hour 3:

I just got a message from the web master of youngwetbitches.fak, I guess they caught me sleeping. He offered me up some tips. Apparently doing crystal meth will keep you up for days; he told me that I probably could score some in Florida. The next thing he said is to start acting seductive. I told him that I didn’t feel very seductive and a tad bloated. In order to correct that he said to take a picture from my chest up making a seductive pose, it will hide the fact I am over weight. Plus he told me to lie about my age so I fit in; he told me this AWESOME girl on his site does it. Of course she has to lie and cheat to get most of her clients but whatever works to get attention I guess.

Customers: 0

Hour 4:

Nobody is coming to my page at all. The boss guy told me to send out messages to people in order to get their attention. So I crafted this message. I hope this works out:

Dear (insert name here)

I really like your page. I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think race, color, or wealth should keep people apart. I am really interested in talking with you more. Come visit me at youngwetbitches.fak to get to know me better. I have a web cam.

PS- My rack is amazing.

I really hopes this works I am getting bored.

Customers: 0

Hour 5:

I have my first customer!

I have to give him a second. He says he needs to steal his parent’s credit card so he can place an order. I guess it is in his brother Jimmy’s sock drawer. I asked him what he does for a living and he says that he auto refreshes his brother’s blogs all day. Apparently they are the next big things in comedy. These days you can proclaim anything, including web hits. I guess it is easy to get yourself 5 million when your retarded auto refreshing brother is counting for 4 million of it. It doesn’t matter I am just excited that my first client is related to celebrities.

His brother Johnny is there with him right now. This guy is asking for some crazy stuff. He told me to go to the refrigerator and get some produce.

I brought the produce back. Johnny is really getting freaky. He wants me to stick the produce someplace. He said it will remind him of the time he was in the army and they gave him a code red for being a total douchebag.

I am really afraid at this point. I want this to be over with. I think I will just give them the money shot they want and be done with my day.

Johnny said he had to go before he finished, apparently he didn’t complete his chores list.

Customers: 1

So the boss man wasn’t happy that I only drew in one client all day. I guess my career as a cam girl is over with. It’s a shame I really thought I had what it takes.