"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/10/06 @ 3:26 pm

I got a message from a few people today wondering where my blog was today. Why it wasnt updated in the early morning like it usually is. I was going to update it but I physically injured myself, in fact I feel concussed right now.

How did it happen? Car accident? Fight? Falling off a ladder? Crazy sex? Nope. None of the above, I wasnt saving the world or doing anything exciting. What was I doing you ask?

Taking a shit.


I didn’t fart so bad that it propelled me into the wall or anything that cool. Although if I had you could be sure there would be pictures of my head going through the wall.

No I took a healthy morning shit and started reading an article about Led Zeppelin in Rolling Stone that I decided I needed to finish. It was on the longer side for a Rolling Stone article and I sat on the groan throne for a couple of extra minutes.

mighty zep

When I stood up I noticed that my left leg had fallen asleep. I figured I would just walk it off and everything would be fine. I opened the door and took a step forward with my right leg. I went to take a step forward with my left leg but for some reason it didnt want to move. So I fell into the wall like a ninety year old women falling in the shower.

In doing so my head slammed into the corner hutch. No blood, no scars, a small bruise, and a massive headache. The room only spun for like 15 minutes, I felt good to go after that.

So now I am at work and I am trying to remember the last five years of my life and it is all a blank. That might be a good thing.

I fully realize that I am an uncoordinated goon. Good times.

Lesson learned: That Led Zeppelin did believe in the occult because reading that article made the Lord hurt me. (What teams give him credit when they win I can’t blame him for making me fall into a wall?)

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

5 Responses to “Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up”

  1. says:

    [...] After getting a concussion the other day, I had a weird dream where I was put in charge of a television network. In the dream most of the programs that I had to choose from were utter shit. [...]

  2. says:


  3. says:

    Nice anecdote. I wish I could just wipe out all my bad memories with a fall.

  4. says:

    concussed? Is that a word? Lol.
    Hope you feel better.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="3731"]concussed? Is that a word? Lol.
    Hope you feel better.[/quote]

    It is believe it or not.

© 2006 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound