Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

I got a message from a few people today wondering where my blog was today. Why it wasnt updated in the early morning like it usually is. I was going to update it but I physically injured myself, in fact I feel concussed right now.

How did it happen? Car accident? Fight? Falling off a ladder? Crazy sex? Nope. None of the above, I wasnt saving the world or doing anything exciting. What was I doing you ask?

Taking a shit.

I didn’t fart so bad that it propelled me into the wall or anything that cool. Although if I had you could be sure there would be pictures of my head going through the wall.

No I took a healthy morning shit and started reading an article about Led Zeppelin in Rolling Stone that I decided I needed to finish. It was on the longer side for a Rolling Stone article and I sat on the groan throne for a couple of extra minutes.

When I stood up I noticed that my left leg had fallen asleep. I figured I would just walk it off and everything would be fine. I opened the door and took a step forward with my right leg. I went to take a step forward with my left leg but for some reason it didnt want to move. So I fell into the wall like a ninety year old women falling in the shower.

In doing so my head slammed into the corner hutch. No blood, no scars, a small bruise, and a massive headache. The room only spun for like 15 minutes, I felt good to go after that.

So now I am at work and I am trying to remember the last five years of my life and it is all a blank. That might be a good thing.

I fully realize that I am an uncoordinated goon. Good times.

Lesson learned: That Led Zeppelin did believe in the occult because reading that article made the Lord hurt me. (What teams give him credit when they win I can’t blame him for making me fall into a wall?)