The Quest for Keira Part 2

The Quest for Keira Part 2

Here is part one if you need to get caught up.

Ok so after I originally posted part 1 of my quest for Keira one of the people that read the blog sent me her agent and assistants contact information. I have sat on that information because I really have no idea what to do with it. So I am going to break down my options and see what you guys think.

The Ron Burgundy Approach

What is it: I write to them and mention to them I am kind of a big deal on myspace. I am a famous blogger and I am read by thousands of people on the most popular social networking site on the whole internet. Also I can mention that I own lots of leather bound books and live in an apartment that smells of rich mahogany. (corrected by El Supremo)

Drawbacks: So I would have to sell myself, I am shitty at selling myself. Plus I have to make myself into something bigger than I am. Of course they wont know that in reality only less than half of one percent of people on myspace know who the hell I am. But remember we need to accentuate the positives.

Advantages: I get to make tons of Anchorman references.

The Will of the People Approach

What is it: Create a petition and beg and plead with the internet community to pass the link around and sign up. With a groundswell of support they would have to cave in and set something up because they wouldn’t want Keira to be looked down upon by movie going adults.

Drawbacks: Its been done a million times before and I look like a desperate douche greatly reducing the possibility of giving her a shocker.

Advantages: Not a lot of effort on part would go into it. I create the petition and walk away.

Photocopy My Junk

What is it: I sit on a photocopier and scan my junk. Then I autograph it but my number on it and send it in.

Drawback: Gerald the gay office assistant could end up calling me. Plus it really isnt all that impressive.

Advantage: I get to sit on a photocopier and scan my junk.

The Stalker Approach

What is it: I can send her a card a day for two months. Then show up at her movie premiere with a camera crew from musicplustv.com for an awkward moment.

Drawback: I will get a restraining order slapped on me and all that postage will add up.

Advantage: Free press for when I get charges slapped on me.

So that is all I could come up with. How should I use the information I have? What would be the best approach?