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Jul
26

Scoreboard-Kevin Smith, The English and others

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/26/06 @ 5:37 am

On Monday when I wrote my blog about things I don’t get I had more than one comment from a Southerner about my crack about how their twang makes them sound dumb. It was a joke and I didn’t really mean to offend anyone because I am sure there are smart Southerners like, uh, George Washington Carver, that guy could do anything with a peanut. Still people were offended over a dumb joke and the more I thought about it the less I felt bad because being a northerner I have “scoreboard” over a southerner.
Scoreboard is a phrase from the Jim Rome sports talks radio show, that is where I first heard the term years ago and should give the show credit. Here is the definition from http://www.jimrome.com.

Scoreboard- (interjection) ‘The final score negates your argument’ [used as a rebuttal to postgame complaints of bad luck, poor officiating, etc.]

So southerners let me remind you.

The Civil War
North-1
South-0

Scoreboard bitches! I can say whatever I want about your slack jawed yokel twang. This got me thinking though who else do I have scoreboard over? So below is my list of people I have scoreboard over.

Who: England

elton

Why: Revolutionary War and the fact you would be speaking German if it weren’t for us.

Scoreboard
United States-2
England-0

Who: Lesbians

lesbian couple

Why: I inadvertently turned two girls to your side. So I helped bolster your ranks, thus I can talk shit.

Scoreboard
Me-2
Lesbians-0

Who: Forbidden


Why: There is nothing fake about these bad boys.

bra

Scoreboard
Me-1
Forbidden-0

Who: Kevin Smith

kevin smith

Why: He has the 6th ranked movie in America and I have the 3rd most watched show on musicplustv.com with Trista. Third is better than sixth, thus I have scoreboard. Because I have scoreboard I am demanding you come on my show as a guest. It’s in LA, airs live Sunday Nights at 8… I know you have nothing to do. Call my people and we will set something up.

Scoreboard
Me-1
Kevin Smith-0

Who: The Family Cat

white cat

Why: I feed you. Without me you don’t live.

Scoreboard
Me-1
Tabitha-0

Jim J Bullock

jim j bullock

Why: Because…

Scoreboard
Me-1
Jim J. Bullock-0

Who: Midget Basketball Players

midget basketball

Why: I’ve got game and two feet on you.

Scoreboard
Me-2ft
Midget Basketball Players-0

Who do you have scoreboard over and why?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

One Response to “Scoreboard-Kevin Smith, The English and others”

  1. says:

    actually it’s

    United States – 3
    England – 0

    the war of 1812. even though the British did burn down the white house we still kicked their butts.

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