A light bulb goes where?

(My friend Kris sent me this yesterday. It was too great not to share with the world)
Operation removes light bulb from anus
Jun 29, 7:34 AM (ET)

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) – Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus.

Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

“Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else,” Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

“We had to take it out intact,” said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. “Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation.”

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn’t know the bulb was there.

“When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this,” Mohammad said.

“I don’t know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners.”

The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
source- Rueters
Holy shit… I know things getting deployed into people’s rectums are not new by any stretch the imagination but this was amazing.

It got me thinking though, what object would be the worst to have shoved in your ass? Now when I say shoved in your ass I am making a blanket statement. It covers the freaky sex base and the angry retaliation type of shoved in your ass type of thing.

Off of the top of my head here are 5 things that I think would be worse than a lightbulb, they are not in any particular order.

5) Plunger

Why- While I think the term plunger rape is funny I don’t believe that the act itself is. Well actually I do but I wouldn’t want it happening to me.
4) Cuisinart

Why- The name just sounds like it would hurt. Plus I fear kitchen equipment that was big in the 80s.
3) An Armadillo

Why- Look at that fucking thing.
2) Kid n Play

Why- Kid’s hair could possibly scratch my small intestines.
1) A 1950 Studebaker

Why- The pointed front… and well I think the size would come into play on this one.

(I hope everyone has a safe and fun holiday weekend. I’ll be back on Wednesday next week. )