"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Things to do before I die

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/23/06 @ 5:36 am

In the middle of writing another blog this idea sprang into my head. What are some things I want to do before I die? I quickly wrote down a list of things that were kind of lofty. You know stuff like, “Finish School” or “Get Married and Have Kids”.

I felt like I was setting the bar WAAAAAAAAAAAAY to high. So being the little underachiever that I am I have decided to set 5 totally reachable goals.

5) Sleep with an Asian girl.

I hear their vaginas are sideways like their eyes. I need to find this out for myself.

4) Eat two garbage plates in one sitting.

garbage plate

I have only heard stories about people eating two of these. I have never witnessed it and one day I would like to be man enough to do it myself.

3) Autograph a rack.
autographing breasts

I don’t know why but I just think it would be mildly entertaining. But then again give me a thing of bubble wrap and I am happy for an hour.

2) Successfully execute the running man when it comes back in style.
Running Man

No not that Running Man…. The dance. Everything comes back in style and one day the running man will be back in style and I want to do it like nobody else. Now if only I could master the robot too.

1) Single handedly bring skullduggery back into everyday vernacular

skullduggery or skulduggery-noun


dishonest practices: unfair and dishonest practices carried out in a secretive way in order to trick other people

So you must go use skullduggery once today in a sentence. It’s for a good cause. We’re bringing this bitch back in the 06. WORD!

Now I pose the question to you. What is something that you want to accomplish before you die?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

4 Responses to “Things to do before I die”

  1. shannon says:

    find a man with special sauce not one who owns a stupid red shirt that says he does

  2. Daniel Reinhard says:

    Bitte mehr Infos!

  3. mistakenone says:

    most all of my accomplishments have been met because I have been there and done that sooooo I would love to buy or someone to be my sugar daddy and buy me a set of perfectly matched 36’s to go with my ass. I am so tired of looking like a light bulb. Uhmm god had ideas but mine never lit up lmao kool blog now i got to go back to the main blog on the mac. :}

  4. LOL… Every time I read.. I hear their vagina is sideways from you.. I burst out laughing. Only you can make it not offensive and amusing.

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