Random Things I Like

So I am rather lazy at this point in the week, so lazy that I didn’t even want to go through and do a blog from the vault. Instead I decided to take the easy way out and write a list. I like writing lists partially because I am lazy but I also enjoy writing them because I feel it gives me some order in my life. So here is a list of random things that I like. This list may just prove I am insane or will point out things you may take for granted.

The smell of gasoline- I love the smell of gas for some reason. I think if I was taken hostage and tied up then doused with gasoline I wouldn’t worry of my impending doom. Instead I would be a blissful daze from inhaling one of my favorite smells. Of course that would come to an end once they toss at match at me.

Binder clips- I fucking love these things. Stapling? That takes effort. Three hole punching? That is for bitches. Screw paper clips, binder clips are where it is at for everything. In fact I am going to go out on a limb and declare binder clips my favorite office supply. You know what… I am going to take it a step farther and declare binder clips the official office supply of my blog.

Ritz Bits S’mores- Fuck you Nabisco. I have been eating rather healthy and living a nice healthy lifestyle before this shit hit the market. I was sitting around watching hockey the other night and decided to try them out within minutes I polished off like half of the box without even thinking about it. I came to the realization that putting me in front of a box of these is like putting Nicole Richie in front of a pile of coke. Basically none of it will be left.

Minnie Driver- Can’t explain it… Maybe it was her role in Good Will Hunting or in Grosse Point Blank. I just have a crush on her. I really don’t have anything to say here.

The Bunnicula series- This was one of my favorite series of books as a kid. It is a story that is told from the family dogs perspective about a vampire rabbit.

I didn’t say killer rabbit… A vampire rabbit that sucks the blood out of vegetables but the cat thinks he is there to hurt the family. Ok I probably confused some people with the last two references so let’s bring this baby home.

And finally….

Holding onto the dream- I decided while driving home last night from LA in a partial daze due to exhaustion that I have a new dream in my life. My goal is to get a lap dance at a strip club. Wait that isn’t the whole thing, bare with me now. When the lap dance starts the girl on stage decides to dance to “Free Bird” by Skynard giving me 9:08 of lap dance time for only twenty bucks. It would be the greatest bargain ever. Not only would you get an extra long lapper but the stripper will be pissed because she really could have fit in three songs over that period of time. So the lap dance would be out of hate and resentment, wait aren’t all of them? If it happened I would probably weep in the stripper’s hair. In other words it would be a normal Saturday night.
What are random things that you like that wouldn’t be considered normal?

Tomorrow: drunken mistakes volume 7