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Fall Out Boy Sucks

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/28/06 @ 4:24 pm

I was reading Rolling Stone on the crapper the other day and they mentioned something about the new Fall Out Boy video. “…inspired by The Lost Boys, Kung Fu Hustle and the classic sci-fi novel I am Legend” was the phrase that kind of peaked my interest.

I have heard of Fall Out Boy, I know they are big on MTV, thus they are huge with teenage girls, therefore must suck. Plus I know that they have a cute bassist according to various message boards, this is Pete Wentz.

pete wentz

Now Pete doesn’t sing. He plays bass. I have never heard of a band before that has the bass player that doesn’t even sing as the main face of the band. I always thought the bass player was usually the least talented guy musically or maybe the little brother that wanted to join a band. Knowing that he was the face of the band and isn’t even the lead singer or some guitar god totally discredited them before I heard anything.

To say I have ever listened to any of their music would be a lie. But I figured this video would be my first exposure So here is the video for the good people that haven’t seen it… Plus this video is supposed to be epic so I had to watch.

Here is the video:


Lets begin the review: (Due to the fact it didn’t have a timer on it I had to go by the even that is happening on the screen at the time it goes in chronological order.)

Fall Out Boy Presents- Oh I am sitting on the edge of my seat already comic book writing… This is going to be high end. (see I can be positive)

A Little Less Sixteen Candles- If I was John Hughes I would sue them and urinate on their dead bodies. The sad thing is most of Fall Out Boys fans don’t even know about this movie.

16 candles

Dude and a chick are about to make out- OH NO Vampire cock blocking. Is there anything worse? Sucked off is going to have a whole new meaning shortly.

Attacking Vampires- Apparently hot blonde vampires prefer to hunt their prey in mini skirts and slut boots

Semper Fi- Thank god the marines are here to save the day. Oh what? It’s an emo tool wearing a marines uniform? This is going on the pamphlet for sure to hand out at colleges and high schools.
fall out boy

Uh Oh Gun Trouble- But thank god Pete is there to save the day… He offers up a very intense line notifying us that they are vampire hunters then does the gayest leap off of the cliff ever. It was worse than watching Leonardo DiCaprio play basketball in “The Basketball Diaries”.

basketball diaries


Case number- Ah so here we get the back story… Our vampire friend drinks a cocktail and is obsessed with getting revenge on the people who turned him. I liked this better when it was called “Blade”.

Wake up Vampire- ITS TIME TO ROCK! Wait, is he sleeping in a locker?

Did we need the shot of the puppy licking his face? Give me a fucking break.

No wonder why he is the face of the band the lead singer has a beer gut and shitty side burns. Oh sorry back to the video.

Montage mixed with the singing The vampire guy is angst filled, the drummer has ninja skills and the lead singer smashed something. I feel like I know these guys.

Oh its Pete the Vampire’s first kill flashback…. It kind of looks like a circle jerk. Oh he cant do it, he let the girl go… It’s an all out brawl. He’s such a billy badass.

Back to the music and his vampire bass skills are rocking the house! The only way to make his bass playing interesting is to walk on the walls.

Token black vampires… Way to go guys, you don’t want to alienate the hip hop fans on MTV. The latest 50 Cent video is up next… Nice way to plant the seed.

Note: Black gangsta vampires and white punk vampires don’t get along Just for future reference.

Wait now there is a third vampire gang that wants to fight the vampire hunters… Oh my… It’s going to get nasty its going to be “A Beat It” like dance fight? WTF?

fall out boy

The lead singer aka head vampire hunter is getting bitten- I’ts the only time girls are going to be surrounding him with that punk bitch bassist in the band. Wait, Mick Mars gets laid who am I kidding? See once again a woman is sucking a mans will to live I think there is a hidden message here.

mick mars

So its all out vampire carnage… He is fighting a vampire that makes sparks with his hands. Since when is sparks a threatening thing for vampires? Seriously because if it worked don’t you think people would be stocking up on those lame sparklers from the fourth of July in every vampire movie ever… It’s easier to get than holy water.

He is going to take out the head vampire and…. and…. The cops come? The undead can toss each other through walls and do these amazing kicks and flips yet cant take out four members of the LAPD?

Mark Furhman

Oh wait the cops are in with the head vampire, they are vampires… It was all a ruse to take down the vampire hunters… It all ends on such a down note… Enjoy getting raped in vampire prison Pete.

So in summation Fall Out Boy sucks… I wish I didn’t watch it 7 times in order to write this shitty blog. I should have just written about bukake and anal fisting like I usually do… Enjoy your weekend everyone

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

27 Responses to “Fall Out Boy Sucks”

  1. brianna gordy says:

    fall out boy is the worst band ever there just a bunch of whining little emo bitches that need to get a life and stop crying about there stupid lives they are such faggots and i am not insulting anyone who listens to them i am just stating MY opinion and what I THINK OF THEM everyone has there own i opionion and i respect everyone and not everyones opiomion is the same

  2. haleigh says:

    i happen to like fall out boy alot and although i do not like your opionon i do agree that everyone is not the same

  3. brianna says:

    thank you for understanding and i think i may have gone alittle over with the insulting but that is how i feel of the band

  4. zach howeth says:

    wtf are you kiding me fall out boy rules i am in love with them whats wrong with being emo

    • Chioma says:

      a few things i gotta say, da guy in the military jacket, joe, is the farthest thing from emo… the lead patrick is also not emo… at all. Andy is a vegan that is not emo (IL HIM!!) sorry about that… and pete wentz writes the lyrics thats probably y he is popular. HEY IM A BASSIST!! MY BAND NEEDS ME! >:(! and i think fall out boy is amazing, but i have to say the video was stupid. try listening to more of there songs. you will see its not emo at all. only some but there about pete’s real depression, he is not just a little boy who became depressed bc he thought it was cool…

  5. taylorrr. says:

    no body cares what you think thank you very much you have an opioion but gw. no body cares about yours. everyone has there own opinion but that doesnt give you the right to share it you odvesously suck more than FOB so shut fucking mouth and when you can come up with something better you talk again cause fall out boy is amazing. and there much better than you. ok.ok.
    and they do not whine
    patricks an amzing singer
    and if you cant sing better
    than him then you shouldnt
    be talking. and being emo
    means your emotional and
    pete has gone through rough
    times in his life as well as
    the other band members.
    you no nothing about them
    so shut up.
    ok thanks bye.

  6. klekle says:

    FOB blows… though i disagree with you about bass players being the least talented musically etc etc because – since you brought up Mick Mars – look at Motley Crue, which was founded by the bass player (that delicious Nikki Sixx)

    However, Pete Wentz is a tool, and he looks like an ugly girl to me and not a man (even when he isnt wearing that awful awful eyeliner)

  7. Jonny Hero says:

    Fall Out Boy sucks: This much is not debatable. While everyone does have an opinion, not everyone’s opinion is correct. For example, I could be of the opinion that the sky is red and grass is purple, but I would be wrong. If you believe that Fall Out Boy is anything other than terrible in every way, you are very much like the person that believes the sky is red… Like every other band incubated by MTV, Fall Out Boy will recede into Limp Bizkitness as soon as its pubescent fan base either moves onto something better or latches onto the fad that targets the demographic they have aged into…
    In regards to the poster making a statement defending the vocalists “talent”… come on? Are you serious? You really REALLY need to get online and download some music; download as much as you can, with the exception of hip-hop or punk (all forms of punk…) you are sure to find at least 73 vocalists that are substantially more able than whoever the hell sings for Fall Out Boy, and this will be in the first hour.
    Fall Out Boy sucks, here’s to their tour plane crashing into another MTV idol’s…

  8. a-wax says:

    I have to agree that Fall Out Boy is an absolutely terrible band. If sucking dick was a sport they’d be the Michael Jordan of the music world. If you doubt this fact watch this youtube clip of them trying to cover “Mr. Brightside” by the Killers. Enjoy.


  9. Drewbowski says:

    I love the way Jay-Z intros their latest cd. That is just bitchin. I guess if you think about it, Jay-Z might be a little emo too. Listen to some of the samples off of their up and coming, sounds a lot like Maroon 5, another band that rivals FOB in the sucking contest.

  10. Em says:

    even though your opinion means nothing, i have to say something.
    ok, so maybe pete gets all the attention.so what?
    i know it’s not very fair to the other three guys in the band, but you dont have to say bass players have no talent.
    and maybe he doesn’t sing.but a band needs a bass player.
    and what if most of their fans are a bunch of teenie girls? you can’t say a band sucks because of that.
    and if you don’t like them so much, why do you even bother?
    why write about a band you think it sucks?
    and everyone has a different taste in music.every band is good in its own way.

    That’s all I have to say, bitch.

  11. Mikhail Stewart says:

    everyone says, this and that sucks… but yet they dont say whats better…. educate us… great GURUS of other people musical taste.

  12. falloutgay suks says:

    HUH how come MTV fuckers give attention to such an talentless artists.. i mean what r they good at ? making good faces or an i agree with all youre remarks about this shit band

  13. John says:

    Em, you are a moron. If his opinion means nothing, then why would people be reading it? And why would people be commenting on it? And if the opinions of other ‘commenters’ doesn’t matter, then why the hell would there be a comments section, and why are you reading? Shut the hell up, idiot. You don’t have to read it. Also, he never said that bass players have no talent, he just said that they are generally the least talented member of a band, if they don’t sing as well. Thirdly, by saying “they are big on MTV, thus they are huge with teenage girls, therefore must suck”, he meant that teenage girls generally like to jump and scream for guys that are cute or otherwise attractive and music that they just like the sound of, but that they don’t pay attention to the talent of a band. If 95% of a band’s fans don’t care how talented said band is, the people that DO care probably don’t like the band for a reason. That was his logic. Don’t make so many assumptions about the author without understanding what he is trying to say.

  14. FallOutFags says:

    they fucking suck, don’t even bother giving me a long fucking rant about i have no taste and they are awesome because i don’t give a two shits
    end of

  15. haha says:

    haha. well becuase you’re on a pointless banter, i’m going on one too okay?

    1. by writing this pointless banter (meaning YOU writing it) you just give more attention to Fall Out Boy and there video and there music. Thank you for advertising them you did a great job.
    2. By writing your pointless banter, you have acknowledged them and recognised them as people part of band and making music. If you really did think they were the worst, you would say that they arn’t people, they arn’t a band or they do not create music.
    3. If they were really that bad and that there music is bad and that everything of them is bad, then why are they famous and how do you know them? I think that hurting other people’s feelings by saying something absolutely pointless, just shows us that you have no time on your hands but to complain about people who are obviously successful for work they love doing and people love them for it.
    4. and so people say i’m hypocritical. Yep, maybe i am. But i do admire you for focusing on the negative parts of your life, including your dislike for fall out boy. It’s very healthy and very much helps your, im pretty sure, already low self esteem. Does it make you feel better now?
    and 5. just beucase ive got other stuff to do other than defend what i believe is good, the band are musicians. They create music which have made it on the charts, and have sold millions of records. Do you think people would buy crap? would millions of people listen to them, watch them or support them if they wre crap. no not really.
    oh and 6. to all you people who think they suck and listen to other music and think it’s way better. yeah you THINK that other music is way better. It’s not a fact that they suck, it’s your opinion. And plus, I’m pretty sure music artists would rather have fans who appreciate ALL forms of music, rather than one genre or band.

    ps: i read your banter so read mine and my opinion matters as much as much as yours does. I respect that.

  16. Yes, he’s the bass player, no he does not sing. But he writes every lyric and every melody for all of their songs. He’s a musician who knows his place and lets the guy with the voice do the singing.

    I see nothing wrong with that.

    FOB is also not just some teen pop group. They’ve worked hard to get where they are and did it from the ground up. Do some more research before you slam a band that doesn’t deserve it.

    • Megan says:

      The Music Elitist-
      Thank you for pointing out the fact that Pete is the writer of all of the lyrics and melodies. It seems that people think that he is the least talented just because he plays “only bass” and the little teenie boppers find him attractive.

      His lyrics are very deep and emotional. Yes, emotional, as in “EMO”. Although most people dont like that they are considered that, they definitely are emo. I have been a fan of Fall Out Boy since their first album, “Evening out with your Girlfriend”. If you dont like their newer cd’s like ‘From under the cork tree’ and ‘Infinity on High, listen to ‘Take this to your Grave’, it is phenomenal. I have to admit, they have become sellouts, but i will never stop being a fan of their music just because of that.

      And to Johnny Hero, you might want to take a look at the definition of opinion…

      opinion-a belief or judgement that rests on the grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.

      Therefore, with your whole bullshit little rant about “the sky is red and grass is purple”, those are not opinions. That is stupidity. Opinions are not facts, or certainties (such as the color of the sky, or you thinking that Fall Out Boy sucks). They are thoughts and judgements around your personal taste. So you are stupid. The End.

  17. Matt says:

    johnny hero is my hero.

  18. dxvsdfvc says:

    A couple of years ago I wouldn’t have agreed with this.
    But now I see the truth… FOB are sell-outs. (WTF is the shit they’re making these days? Fucking jazz?)

    And believe it or not, they’re only famous because Pete Wentz is attractive.

    The lead singer needs to shave them fucking sideys ( Iforgethisname ).

  19. lololol says:

    I don’t like this band’s songs at all… I can’t even make out the lyrics…

  20. Til-Man says:

    Dude, nice.
    I used to like Fallout Boy, but then they got popular. So i only listen to their first album, their best album i must say.
    I’d like to ask the nice audience a question.
    Would Fallout Boy be as popular id Pete wasn’t ‘fit’?
    I thought so.
    Pfft, please. The same thing applies to most bands. One person is fit, therefore that makes them a good band.
    But does it? No, of course it doesn’t ard-tard.

    I’d also like to point out that Fallout Boy isn’t ‘Emo’. Because as we all know, listening to Fallout Boy makes you feel totally emo.
    ‘Emo’ isn’t mainstream…

  21. Nikki says:

    While Patrick Stump does have a pretty decent singing voice, that does not automatically make Fall Out Boy OMG TEH BEZT BAND EVAR!!!11ONELEVENTYONE!!11. There are a great number of other vocalists whose talent outshines Patrick’s by a long shot. Go listen to some Dio or Guns N’ Roses and you will see how hardcore Patrick sucks in comparison. Just because he can sing loud, does not mean he can sing well.

    Not all bass players are the least talented member of the band, but generally that’s how it goes. Bass is an easy instrument to play, in comparison to guitar and drums. Especially in the case of a craptastic Fall Out Boy song where the same note is generally repeated over and over again until OMG LOOK, THEY PLAYED THREE DIFFERENT ONES IN A ROW, SO TALENTED~. How do I know this? I play bass, and I mastered the abomination that is Dance, Dance in about oh…five minutes? And mind you, I am not a phenomenal bassist. Neither is Pete Wentz if he can barely even play his own songs.

    Fall Out Boy are an abomination to music. The only reason they are as huge as they are is because Pete Wentz is apparently “cute” and holds that special power over a great number of mindless teenage girls that so many “cute” people tend to do. They may have had potential once to be something huge, and amazing, but they have long since sold out and musically gone downhill from a place that was barely talented to begin with.

  22. ttacjim says:

    Yeah. They suck. They weren’t cool when they were sucking in front of 2 people @ wheaton community center & they just continued doing it. Pete is a cocky asshole who has multiple std’s. Seriously. & emo doesn’t mean anything. Get over yourselves little fob lovers. The governments trying to control your mind with their shitty music. & I CAN say that bc my band is better :)

  23. butters989 says:

    Fall Out Boy sucks hippo herpes. They have no talent and follow the basic pop super-single song structure. The titles of everything attempt to be cute and clever, but are just plain fucking irritating. A little less sixteen candles, little more touch me? Go fuck yourselves.

    Like a lot of boybands (these guys do seem to be n sync but holding instruments. I wouldn’t call what they do playing them), they are popular because they make girls wet. Seriously, everytime I hear girls praising them, it always includes something about how hot they are. Their whole careers are fueled by giving girls oral fixations.

    I cannot wait for their 15 minutes to be up. Hopefully Wentz’s next suicide attempt will be successful.

  24. Ola says:

    okay. fall out boy is one of my favorite bands but i must say i enjoyed your blog. but you dont seem to be providing a valid reason why they suck. true fall out boy fans dont like them because of pete. i happen to love patrick the most and i i worship joe’s jew-ness. i love andy because he’s just andy and hes cool. i love pete because he’s a midget and hes got a retarded laugh. so yes, 14 year old girls who have heard 3 of their songs and are currently obsessed with pete do happen, but theyre stereotypes. you have to understand that some people like them for their music and not their looks.

  25. A Ninny Mouse says:

    I love how the FOB fans are like, “i understand that we’re different and you can have an opinion but HOLY FLYING FUCK FOB DOESN’T SUCK, THEY AREN’T EMO, YOU SUCK MORE THAN THEM, YOU’RE JEALOUS, I LOVE THEM, VEGAN MEANS NOT EMO, FUCK YOU BITCH!!!!!!111one!!!” Way to be hypocrites, tweens, way to be hypocrites.

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