Amazon WTFs 2: Music
Not to worry my friends, the next round of voting for Donkey’s catchphrase will be up soon, but Donk needs time to sort through the hundreds of suggestions received and pick the ones he likes the best.
In the meantime, let’s chat about some of the poopy music that’s currently in the top 100 on Amazon.com.
This guy creeps me out for some reason. Oh, and he appears on American Idol and boom – his album is now #4 on Amazon.com. People are such sheep. “A.I. said opera is cool….must buy opera.” They’ll listen to the album once, then end up using it as a coaster for their Pabst beer and wiping their ass with the liner notes. Fuckin Douches.
Pearl Jam – Self Titled
The Pearl Jam story is one of my favorites. Here’s a band that rebelled hard against their “fame.” These pretentious jackasses just couldn’t be bothered with the adoration of the unclean masses. Then, after making shitty album after shitty album and becoming a husk of their former glory, they’ve now spent the past 6 years trying to get back to their earlier heights of fame (the shameless whores). Oh, the irony. Guess what guys, the whole “Self-Titled” scheme ain’t gonna work either. Reality check: you made one stunning album, Ten, and you’ve put out nothing but garbage since. You’re nothing more than a footnote from the early 90s, whereas Donkey remains as uber-important as ever.
Taking The Long Way – Dixie Chicks
LOL
Goodbye Alice in Wonderland – Jewel
I’m always torn on Jewel. Not about her music, because it clearly blows, but about her looks. On the one hand she’s got those snaggly teeth, which is a little gross, but on the other hand she has ENORMOUS mammary glands, which Donkey Likee. It sorta depends on the picture. Sometimes she looks thoroughly bangable, and other times she looks like she has a set of “bubba teeth” on.
What’s Left of Me – Nick Lachey
Let’s place bets. Which number will be higher:
1) The number of copies Nick sells of his solo album
2) The alimony check he gets from Jessica in the month of May
3) The number of guys from the cast of “Jackass” that Jessica’s banged
Best Of Chris Isaak
Is this just a CD single of Wicked Game, or like 12 different versions of Wicked Game?
