Amazon WTFs 2: Books
A couple months ago Donkey took a look at some of the more puzzling Amazon.com bestsellers in the categories of books, music, and movies. You can view a sample here.
Well, Donk was browsing the bestsellers this morning, and there’s clearly a lot of new poop for us to talk about. First, let’s start with some of the top-selling books on Amazon.com:
Cesar’s Way : The Natural, Everyday Guide to Understanding and Correcting Common Dog Problems
Remember when a rolled up newspaper was all you needed? Another observation: do you think the dogs in the picture look unhappy because they’ve been put in their place, or because they live their lives with that jackass in the middle?
Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples
Allow Donk to sum it up for you so you don’t have to buy this hack’s book:
If you’re a guy: Make a lot of money, tell them they’re always right, do more housework.
If you’re a chick: Put out more
Problems solved.
Rachael Ray Express Lane Meals : What to Keep on Hand, What to Buy Fresh for the Easiest-Ever 30-Minute Meals
I’m tired of this chick. Let’s break down her “easiest-ever” meals.
1. Read book, making a copious list of ingredients I need to “keep on hand.”
2. Spend 2 hours at grocery store buying ingredients. Total bill: $200.
3. Re-read book, this time in order to follow recipe. Because I’ve never really cooked before, it takes me over an hour to make, and ends up tasting like the inside of my 5-year-old pair of sneakers.
4. Spend the next half hour cleaning up kitchen area and doing dishes.
No offense Rach, but I think I’ll order in from Chiles.
Hey Grads, here’s a great idea. Yeah, we know you have $30,000 in student loans and a BA in History that is useless…..but if you just spend an extra $20, this book will make all your dreams come true. There’s a Sucker born every minute.
Don’t Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings : Madea’s Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life
Am I the only one who doesn’t get this phenomenon? Wake-up call America: IT’S NOT FUNNY. Did we not learn our lesson by suffering through 200 episodes of Mama’s Family?
The Gospel of Judas
and
Misquoting Jesus : The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why
You mean, the Bible is just a bunch of stories arbitrarily put together by ancient scholars, meaning that the original events of Jesus’ life may have been misrepresented? The very core of my being has just been challenged…..
Rule #1 : The Simple Strategy for Successful Investing in Only 15 Minutes a Week!
Here’s Donkey’s #1 Rule: If you believe that you’re going to see any financial gain if you only spend 15 minutes a week at it, then you’re a mongloid.
Generation T : 108 Ways to Transform a T-Shirt
This chick is a genius. She figured out how to make a million dollars by telling people how to cut the arms off of their T-shirts. Bravo, Granola-Girl, Bravo.
