The People that dislike me most

So this week I wrote one of the most controversial blogs ever… Was it about clubbing baby seals? Nope. Was it about anal fisting the mentally retarded? Nope. It was so controversial I was afraid to bring it up again. It was about Harry Potter and the fans of the CHILDREN’S BOOK. People got all bent out of shape about my review, I understand how that can happen, it was a very serious review that peaked when I used a Harry Potter book to assault my four year old nephew. People took it WAAAAAY to serious. Oh and shame on all of you that really thought “Bring It On” was my favorite movie ever… Everyone should really know it was “Tootsie”.

Also this week I passed the 300 blog mark and 300,000 blog view mark, in that period of time I have made jokes about; abortion, Hitler, Bush, Ann Coulter, and cross dressers. None of those jokes elicited a peep out of people. The only blog that even earned close to the amount of nasty messages and well actually, one death threat, was my blog about adult babies aka dudes wearing diapers. That blog can no longer even be found on myspace because people got so bent out of shape and asked to have it pulled from myspace. You can find it on my website pointlessbanter.net… just click here.

I thought it was kind of funny though that the only two groups of people that go so mad about my blogs were people that wanted to be treated like children while shitting in a diaper and people that wanted to read a shitty children’s book. So I decided to do a breakdown of these two groups of people and figure out which group are bigger losers.

So let’s get down to the nuts and bolts, the brass tacks, or whatever generic phrase you would prefer.

Accessory of Choice

Adult Baby: Pacifier
HP Fan: Fake glasses
Bigger loser: toss up
Why: Neither are all that cool.

Favorite Quote

Adult Baby: “Baby doodie in diaper”
HP Fan: “Oh don’t be such a muggle.”
Bigger loser: Adult baby
Why: Baby talk is so damn annoying. It’s bad enough when couples do it but when Mr. Richardson the school principle drops that on one of his former students, well it is truly creepy.

Exciting News

Adult Baby: When they find a deal on Huggies in XL with Winnie the Pooh designs.
HP Fan: When a new book is announced.
Bigger Loser: Adult Baby
Why: There are certain things in life we should never have to shop for. Winnie the pooh huggies in extra large is one of them.

Costume of choice

Adult Baby:

HP Fan:

Bigger Loser: Adult baby
Why: Are you fucking blind?

Biggest social issue

Adult Baby: Some Adult Babies are found of having children change them. A red flag, possible pedophile.
HP Fan: Men get dresses up as their favorite HP character and go hang out in a dark movie theatre filled with kids. A red flag, possible pedophile.
Bigger Loser: Toss Up
Why: I wouldn’t let my kids near either.

Biggest fear

Adult Baby: That the baby powder that is being placed in their diaper is really itching powder.
HP Fan: That another character is going to get killed off.
Bigger Loser: HP fans
Why: Nobody wants an itchy sack…

Preferred Past Time

Adult Baby: Shitting in a diaper and having someone change it.
HP Fan: Proudly reading a children’s book.
Bigger loser: HP fans
Why: If I could find a way to take a shit and have someone clean my ass I would be down. Hell Eddie Murphy liked it in “Coming to America”. As a matter of fact I am accepting applications for an “assistant” that will make my balloon knot shine like the top of the Chrysler building.

In an oh so close race the adult babies are actually ranked as bigger losers… So Harry Potter fans rejoice… Ok everyone have a great weekend and a great Easter. I get to hit up Disneyland this weekend… I am sure it will be interesting. I will be back monday with the Parade Magazine Questions Answered.