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The Greatest Movie Ever

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/11/06 @ 5:36 pm

After yesterday’s blog where I made fun of adult Harry Potter fans some people were upset, they felt like I was too mean and I didn’t have an appreciation for fine art. So I decided to counter that thought by writing about my favorite movie of all time. By doing this I figure that it will show I can write about something in a positive manner and it will also show that I have a better taste than every single person on the face of the earth.

My favorite movie of all time:

bring it on
Bring It On

Now before I explain to you why I love “Bring It On” so much I just want you to know that this blog is spoiler heavy. So if you want to watch “Bring It On” without having the great plot ruined, you may not want to read any further. In fact if you haven’t seen “Bring It On” stop reading this and go out and buy it right now. If you are at work tell your boss the following, “(insert bosses name here), I need to go home right now so I can purchase “Bring It On” and watch it. Kevin gave me permission, if you have any problems with that please contact him so he can knock you out and shit on your chest.”
Now let’s get to the meat and potatoes. The 5 main reasons why I love “Bring It On”:

5) Quality storyline- Here is the description taken from imdb.com:

The Toro cheerleading squad from Rancho Carne High School in San Diego has got spirit, spunk, sass and a killer routine that’s sure to land them the national championship trophy for the sixth year in a row. But for newly-elected team captain Torrance (Kirsten Dunst), the Toros’ road to total cheer glory takes a shady turn when she discovers that their perfectly-choreographed routines were in fact stolen from the Clovers, a hip-hop squad from East Compton, by the Toro’s former captain. While the Toros scramble to come up with a new routine, the Clovers, led by squad captain Isis (Gabrielle Union) have their own problems – coming up with enough money to cover their travel expenses to the championships. With time running out and the pressure mounting, both captains drive their squads to the point of exhaustion: Torrance, hell bent on saving the Toros’ reputation, and Isis more determined than ever to see that the Clovers finally get the recognition that they deserve. But only one team can bring home the title, so may the best moves win.

I don’t know what is more riveting than a good story. “Bring It On” has you glued to the screen the entire time. A “hip-hop” aka black squad from Compton doesn’t have any money… I’ve never watched a movie with poor African American people that had to overcome so much. There are no stereotypes here at all; I feel this is the most realistic depiction of urban life ever.

4) Tender moments- I have to admit I am a sap for tender moments on the big screen. I always tear up when something pulls on my heart strings. There is a scene in the movie when they are cheering that really gets me emotional. A male cheerleader holds up a female cheerleader and promptly sticks his finger in her “say no, then go, then tell” spot. It warms the heart. “An Officer and a Gentleman” has nothing on this romantic masterpiece.

3) Best soundtrack- Good music can separate a good movie from a mediocre movie very quickly. “Bring It On” delivers the goods in a big way. I used to think that the “Singles” soundtrack was one of the best soundtracks I had ever heard. That was until I picked up this gem, The “Bring It On” Soundtrack:

1. As If – Blaque
2. See Ya (Radio Mix) – Atomic Kitten
3. Mickey – B*Witched
4. Anywhere USA – P.Y.T.
5. U.G.L.Y. – Daphne & Celeste
6. Jump Up (If You Feel Alright) – Da Beat Bros.
7. Freakin’ You – The Jungle Brothers
8. Cheer For Me – 95 South
9. What’s A Girl To Do (Urban Mix) – Sister2Sister
10. Bring It All To Me (Remix) – Blaque
11. ‘Til I Say So – 3LW
12. 2 Can Play That Game – “ Sygnature
13. As If – “ Blaque

I’ve never heard a band cover “Mickey” before; I was stunned by the originality. I have to say that this soundtrack should be owned by every serious music fan across the country. All these bands will be big time players in the music industry for the next twenty years. You can quote me on that.

2) Memorable Quotes-
The secret to every good movie is dialogue and Bring It On isn’t short on quality dialogue:

Quote 1:
Torrance Shipman: Courtney, this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy. I’m sorry, but I’m overruling you.
Courtney: You are being a cheer-tator Torrance and a pain in my ass!

Quote 2:
Torrance Shipman: If we’re gonna be the best, we have to have the best. Missy’s the poo,
Torrance Shipman: so take a big whiff!

Quote 3:
[Cheerleaders from opposing team]
Cheerleaders: Hey, Toros! / That’s right / The red black and white / Guess What / Guess What / You really SUCK!
Torrance Shipman: Hey…
The Toros Squad: That’s all right. That’s OK! / You’re gonna pump our gas someday! / That’s all right. That’s OK! / You’re gonna pump our gas someday!

Let’s see that whore JK Rowling pen something so poignant.

1) Actresses- My favorite thing about the movie is the quality of actresses that grace the screen. When people talk about movies that highlight the talent of the top actresses of Hollywood this should be the first one that come to mind. Let’s look at this cast:

Kirsten Dunst
Ladies say what you will about Kirsten Dunst… I know she has a snaggle tooth but 15 minutes with my pry tool and it will be all good.

eliza dushku

Eliza Dushku- She plays the former gymnast that is forced to join the cheerleading team because her school doesn’t have gymnastics. I felt her pain, her conflict and I firmly believe she should have been nominated for Best Actress.

gabrielle union

Gabrielle Union- I have read once you go black you never go back… I firmly believe I need to test this theory on her.

natina reed
Natina Reed- She played the stereotypical sassy black girl… It was like a retarded version of the one of the chicks from TLC.

The Asian girl with the lazy eye… (no picture)

I love girls with Lazy Eyes I used to spank it to Sandy Duncan all the time growing up.

So there you have it the five reasons why I think that “Bring It On” is the best movie ever. You may disagree but you would be wrong.

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

15 Responses to “The Greatest Movie Ever”

  1. “Let’s see that whore JK Rowling pen something so poignant.” =)) Yeah, what has she ever done for the world of literature?!?

  2. tralfaz says:

    Nice try, but… um, no.

    The greatest sports movie ever made is actually Stick it.


    Hello, it’s about GYMNASTS! Even this homo knows that gymnasts are a thousand times sexier than lame-ass cheerleaders.

    And you want classic dialogue?

    Haley Graham: Stop being so nasty, Joanne.
    Joanne: It’s not called gym-nice-stics.

    or this:

    Burt Vickerman: Are you sure?
    Haley Graham: I’m so sure I’m practically deodorant.

    Or the best line ever uttered in a sports movie:

    Joanne: Call me!
    Poot: Stalk you!

    I believe that the words I’m looking for, in summation, are these:

    • InvaderKap says:

      I have two points to make.

      Point 1: Subjectivity. ‘Nuff said. So stop trying to look intellectually superior using only your opinion as a tool; it won’t work.

      Point 2: Your username is incredibly similar to the username of a friend of mine. Funnnn. :D

  3. Kevin says:

    JK Rowling is a hack….

    Stick it… I haven’t seen it yet but I am totally behind this movie now.

  4. And to think I passed this gem up in Blockbuster last night to get Click and Stay Alive…

  5. Straykitten says:

    I have to agree with you…and for a time, this movie was the epitome of all art in human civilization. (It’s 9am…I can’t spell at this hour. Forgive me.) However, recently, Bring it On has been surplanted by an even greater triumph of the human mind: Bring it On 2. I mean, the heart-wrenching tale, the school WITHOUT a dance team! The bitchy university cheerleading squad! It is nothing less than a pure depicition of human triumph and tribulation against all odds.

  6. Kevin says:

    Click has nothing on this movie…

    A school WITHOUT a dance team? Oh the horror

  7. Randy says:

    You coulda stopped with just the quotes… I love “If we’re gonna be the best, we have to be the best.” That is writing genius! Genius I say.

  8. Aaaaaaron says:

    I think Tralfaz may indeed have found another contender, if not the new best.

  9. [...] If you want to know why Bring It On is the greatest movie ever here is my list of five reasons. [...]

  10. I think you are nuts.

  11. Some Dueche says:

    Is the a joke web page? Or, is this Kevin dude really the most shallow, uninspiring homo to ever grace the face of our planet?

  12. mistaken/debbie says:

    I think Kirsten Dunst is hot for a chick… I wonder if that is her stage name? I’d have to change my last name caz I wouldn’t want anyone to take me as a fool. :} The movie was great. We have the sequel too.

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