Harry Potter Sucks
Disclaimer: I understand that the Harry Potter series has engaged numerous young kids and has pulled them away from their television and video games. I think that is great, so for anyone under 13 go and enjoy Harry Potter, you shouldn’t be reading my blogs or be on myspace anyways. If you are over 13 though, this blog applies to you.
Harry Potter sucks… There I said it and I refuse to take it back.
Every time a new book or movie is released I am forced to become a shut in and avoid going out in public so I don’t have to deal with Harry Potter people. Oh yeah, before we go on, if you call me a muggle I am going to rip out your larynx with my nephew’s tonka truck backhoe. (They are surprisingly powerful.)
I don’t understand how people get so excited over a children’s book? It boggles my mind. The worst thing about it is that people brag that they finished it in a weekend. Granted the books are long but um… IT’S A FUCKING CHILDREN’S BOOK. That would be like me bragging that I read the ENTIRE collection of the “Bernstein Bears” in a year. They are children’s books you should be able to read them in a short period of time.
Aside from that, I have four major reasons why I don’t like the entire Harry Potter thing.
4) Anytime adults dress up as their favorite characters for a book or movie release there are issues. This isn’t the bully or the “I’m too cool” guy coming out in me. Someone throws a costume party or a theme party I am showing up in costume no mater what time of year it is. Growing up I loved Star Wars, I had all the toys, lunchboxes, burger king cups, you name it. I was a geek that happened to play sports. With that being said I would never, ever, ever get dressed up in a costume to go to a movie or a book release. It just reeks of sadness especially when adults do it. I don’t care if it is Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or The Rocky Horror Picture show adults dressing up in costumes is one of the top five things that annoy me most. It annoys me so much that I don’t even have a joke here.
3) The books are entirely too long. Here is a rule of thumb… If Max Cady would have lifted the book in prison as a weight, it is entirely too long of a book to read…. Perhaps that reference was too obscure. How about this, if you can use a book in an assault as a weapon you shouldn’t read it. Let’s use my nephew as an example. The last book I read was “Grasping for Airtime” by Jay Mohr about his stint on SNL. I cracked him in the back of the head with it:
All it did was piss him off.
Now I did the same thing with a Harry Potter book.
That little shit didn’t get up for hours.
Like I said you shouldn’t be able to use a book as a weapon.
2) The main bad guy is a total bitch. He’s like a combination of the Penguin from the old “Batman and Robin” TV show, surrounded by a bunch of inept goons and one of the bad guys from Scooby Doo always getting punked by a kid. At this point how threatening can he be? He can’t close the deal at all. A perfect correlation to this is a guy that brags about being a stud, lands a date with a pornstar, and she doesn’t put out. You’re not such a stud now are you?
1) The actors that portray the main roles in the movies annoy the piss out of me. Why do all three main actors whine every time they deliver their lines? By the end of the movie I feel like I am listening to Peg Bundy on “Married with Children”. Hogwarts is the only school where I openly root for a school shooting.
In summary if you are an adult Harry Potter fan please take the time to rethink your interest in the children’s franchise. Invest your time in something worthwhile like arguing with kids on myspace over whether or not Hermione has secret lesbian tendencies.
I also want to add that the plot devices are so incredibly irritating and distracting. There are so many of them, I could give you a laundry list. But one plot device that keeps happening is the three best friends are always together on Christmas…what a contrivance. All three of them have nuclear families to go back to, but invariably they all end up either hanging out at school (wtf? Why is school even open over the holidays?) or going to Ron’s house. In the Phoenix book, Hermione skips out on a SKING vacation with her muggle/human parents to go hang out with Ron’s white trash family, and whiny snot-nosed Harry who is busy trying to kill Ron’s father.
First of all, as Hermione’s parents why wouldn’t they say, listen you little ungrateful shit, we never see you, we paid thousands of pounds for this expensive ski vacation, and you are going to stay with your family, your flesh and blood, on Christmas day. You can see your lame friends after the holidays. Oh but no, Hermione skips out on her parents and is with Harry and Ron on Christmas day, and it’s all explained and brushed aside in a few short sentences.
The book could be written so that everyone goes home for xmas. Instead JK Rowling has to force the whole idea of the three of them having all these adventures over xmas vacation by coming up with incredibly implausable plot devices about how NO ONE in the group of three is actually with just their families on Christmas….these books have the potential to be a zillion times better if someone could help this gal write so that she’s not completely distracting and annoying the reader.
You might enjoy this….
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/adults_go_wild_over_latest_in
Seems like you’re not the only one with this opinion.
You’re fucked.
Really, really bad.
Well tbh i dont see any need for the ridicously long post you put on why Harry Potter sucks. Yes i argee its stupid to dress as a character from our favourite movies/books as we get older but we dont want to throw away our childhood dressing as a favourite character and re reading the books using our imaginations its what keeps us young!
hehehe> i love dis website!
Yes, I agree! Harry Potter SUCKS!
Ok now… I do agree// costume parties are stupid at adult age, butin every book there are plot holes and misunderstandings. And how she managed to be so long and still make is a children’s story is rather amazing. And you havent understood the books if u dont get the reason the bad guy gets pawnd by a schoolboy. And finally…. if you think Harry Potter sucks… try the Twilight stuff… u will begin to adore HP.
We covered Twilight, just as bad.
i agree with you on twilight it dismineses almost everything what has been done with vampires from angel and hellsing to christopher lee.
But i sadly disagree with you on the whole harry potter sucks thing. I just want to know did you read the books not just one but all of the seven. If you done so then you can judge. Don’t judge a book on its movie. Everytime i see a potter movie i’m completely disappointed by it.they books are a million times better then the movies i actually wish i could delete all of the last three films. But the book are great readable by people of every intellect. From the lowest cow to then bigest wise-ass. You should give the books a try and delete if you can the movies from your brain. another persons books you should read are darren shan’s before you see the movie. Just like harry potter the books are create and the movies will be even more awful than the harry potter ones because the turned a good siries in a twilightlike movie.
Actually Twilight has a lot in common with classical vampire stories written in the 19th century like “Dracula” and Sheridan LeFanus “Carmilla”. Of course there is nothing wrong with a writer changing things to suit themselves, but Hellsing and Buffy are both tongue-in-cheek works that don’t take vampires seriously. Thats not to say I don’t like them. I do. But I like the more classic approach that twilight takes where vampires don’t act like psychos, and are not bothered by sunlight. Dracula walks around during the day, but he is notably strange looking at that time. Come to think of it Alucard does too. Twilight is also a drama. Not a horror film. I personally think that the twilight movies are masterfully done. with perfect pace and amazing acting. Obviously lots of people agree. I am less fond of the Twilight books.
Harry Potter books do indeed SUCK. The protagonists are predictable and unpleasant. Worse yet Rowling is fond of completely unproven statements that you need to believe to enjoy the books. Like Deatheater=pure evil. Except that when she tells us of their motivations all I gather is that they are separatists who believe that non muggles should be kept away from the wizard world. Knowing a lot of muggles I agree. We muggles tend to destroy stuff we fear and envy. So it actually seems reasonable to either stay away from muggles(even muggles with magic abilities due to their likely loyalty) or to fight us. Voldy may be psychotic at this point, but his followers have a point. Not to mention that Voldy does seem pretty popular, so how exactly does his point of view go totally unregarded in a Democracy? Also, we keep being told that Harry, Hermie and Ron is a loyal friends. Uhuh. Except the ten times or so when Harry basically screams that no one understands him, and tells the others to leave him alone. Ron is absolutely jealous of Harry, and Hermione is so high maintenance oblivious to the needs of others its enough to make a real person ill. The reason most problems occur in Harry Potter is because no one seems able to share information. On either side. i also am not sure about exactly what Rowling thinks makes for a healthy relationship, but its decidedly unhealthy. Sharing political viewpoints seldom leads to romance in my experience. So just because two people say love muggles, it really isn’t a basis for a relationship. Also, are Mr and Mrs Weaseley brother and sister? its creepy how much they look alike. WOW. I never realized how much I hate those books!
Twilight is crap written for preteens and lonely housewives.
I have to disagree with you on the unhealthy relationship thing. Everyone gets in fights with their friends when they’re teenagers. The fact that they can overcome their fights shows how strong their friendship is. Personally, I think that Bella’s and Edward’s relationship in Twilight is unhealthy.
um…ok…so basically all you just said is that you dont have the attention span or the intelligence to read a book longer than the Berenstein Bears.
Congratulations Sir.
Great reading comprehension you fuckwit
Hey Bobby Finstock you the biggest arsehole I have ever seen in my life. You yourself advising people to stop reading children literature and Invest time in something worthwhile and then wasting your own time bragging about harry potter.
Why don’t you follow your own advise and start doing something constructive. And ya stop hitting your nephew (or the little shit that you called him).
-snort-
I like how you think that age really matters. I’ve seen idiotic Twilight-loving adults, and then I’ve seen 5th graders strutting around with adult prose books.
I kinna agree with line three. Yeah, the fanbase sucks. I mean, I reallyreallyreally love Harry Potter, but the crazy insane fans do drive me nuts. Some pairings are just never going to happen.
Second, even though Harry Potter is intended for, and is read by peoples under the age of 13, that does not mean only children can enjoy them. And I don’t mean like, “Oh my gosh, this is such a cute book!” but I mean, full blown sobs at certain character’s deaths. Not because, “OMG, I LOVED HIM/HER SO MUUUUUCH!” but because, even if you absolutely despised the character, JK Rowling makes you cry anyway, because of her writing skills.
I do think it’s appropriate for children to dress up. People over 25… that’s pushing it. I do agree it is kind of insane to do it at that age. Harry Potter is amazing, and even at 80, I’ll probably still read it. But dressing up for events? No. Not even at Halloween. Parties are excepted, since if you don’t dress up you’ll seem like a fun-hater/rude. But other events? No.
I LOLed at the nephew thing.
Mmm, yes, killing babies and being just like Hitler (except on wizard-ing standards) is totally, like, babyish. Right yooo guyz? If you want to be hardcore, make it gorier, and go for cannabalisim. Raw. While you strip the guts out piece by piece. ‘Cause this novel’s supposed to promote killing, and/or scare 11-year-old’s to death.
Dude, this is INTENDED for children. If it was intended for adults, it would have been gorier.
I get that you’re talking about the movies, but seriously– READ THE BOOKS BEFORE YOU JUDGE. This annoy’s me so. I couldn’t say I officially despised Twilight ’till I read all the books. You mention NOWHERE that you have. So, I’ll assume.
I respect your opinion, but until you read the books, I’m really not going to listen. I’ll just snort.
Plus, you didn’t even complain about plot points, or the actual content. Just how gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the adult fans are, and the actor’s voices, and the size of the book, and how it should only interest children that liked “Goodnight Moon”, or “Olivia”.
How old are you?
Agrees with above. When you actually take the time to read the books and then have something intelligent to say, perhaps people will respect you. I can understand that you don’t like harry Potter…but it’s not based on anything logical. you can use any book as a weapon if you try hard enough ^-^
Anyway, I guess I shouldn’t be expecting spectacular things from a website entitled “Pointless Banter”
I am an adult I don’t read children’s books.
Then how the F**k do you know that they are crap and no adult should be reading them.
I just have one problem, and one problem only…
A teenager, who understands magic like I understand women, kills the darkest and prob second greatest wizard of all time….. I agree, scooby doo! Other than that, I didn’t mind the books.. Oh and yeah, one more thing.. Harry naming all his kids after everyone… I won’t complain about it because that is her choice in doing that.. But I thought that was cheezy.. Not a deal breaker tho.
Oh.. and why would you complain on how big the book is?
I would agree with you if the book sucked.. But I thought Goblet of fire was long and great…
Bobby, keep your opinions comming, don’t stop them because people don’t like them!!
Have a nice day.
FUCK U PPL WHO SAY THIS IS A GOOD BOOK
back at you…brother of child who obviously has better taste than you?
SRRY i forgot to tell all u guys im in grade 5 xD
i finished the whole series great books keep them up
stupid brothers write negative comments. lol oh yea and i didnt write “FUCK U PPL WHO SAY THIS IS A GOOD BOOK”
Let it be understood that Harry Potter is the single best thing to happen to literature since The Great Gatsby. J.K Rowling is brilliant and seriously…she has made more money than the queen of England. She’s gotta be great. The movies are terrible but the books have really opened up so many new doors in the field of literature. The plotlines are so rich because theyre not supposed to be just intended for kids. Anyone can read these books, and say that there is more than one message there.
You should write about Twilight instead…that’s at least easy to trash…
You just lost any credibility by saying it is the single best thing to happen to literature since the Great Gatsby,
shut up you foul loathing little cockaroach you death eater you mudblood you dunglicker there my pureblood words just avada kedavra’ed you and i don’t care if the ministry will get me
10 points to wrocker
If Harry Potter were a childrens story why would it have curse words?
And another thing any one can pretend to have hit there brother with a book and take a picture.
P.S EVERTHING IS A WEAPON!!!
hmmmmmm i think somthing worse than harry potter is twilight
i will say this once
VAMPIRES
DO
NOT
FCKIN
SPARRKKKLLLEEE!!!!!
that is all
every time u read harry potter or twilight domo-kun kills a kitteh
PLZ save the kittehs. btw im under 13 and i hate harry potter sooo i guess that im just a freek of nature XD
Harry Potter sucks. This stupid thing gave me alot of problems & troubles for the past several years ago (Even stupid Superman as well). Both Harry Potter & Superman sucks
Firstly you can’t say it sucks unless you’ve read every book.
Secondly the length of the books and the fact that people boast of reading the whole thing in one weekend just shows how engrossing the books are. The Order of the Phoenix which was one of the longest was one of my favourites.
Thirdly Ron and Hermione staying at Hogwarts with Harry over Christmas shows their loyalty as friends.
Ron envies Harry’s fame and as we later find out when they destroy the locket horcrux, he fears Hermione prefers Harry over him.
Lastly Harry Potter isn’t a children’s book. It’s a book for everyone. I don’t understand why you’re annoyed about people dressing up.
I never listend to a Britney Spears album and I can tell you they suck.
Haha I like Harry Potter, but the movies simply irk me. Like, the actors and actresses are just so…it’s too bad to describe. And the plot of the movie sucks since they made all those changes. I guess it’s a case of the book being good but the movie spoiling it all.
And Twilight SUCKS. Sorry Twilight fans.
But I seriously don’t see what’s wrong with long books. It means total elaboration (but Twilight crosses the limit, it’s redundant, hm? AND COMPARED TO TWILIGHT, HARRY POTTER RULES THE WORLD.)
I must say that yeah, those 4 points listed above are true except for the thing about it being too long. But I’m still a Harry Potter fan. Ooops.
Yeah so, bye? No hard feelings eh?
Ok. First off all, the problem with your blog is, that is so offensive. But: I truly understand your concerns. I’m an astronomer, and a chemist also. Love music, poetry, and I also have read many many books, from Lev Tolstoi to Nathaniel Hawthorne.
You maybe asking, how the hell did I get here. Well, I’ve read some critics about literature, been surfing on the internet, and found some HP stuff, so here I am.
Somehow, I still think that this Harry Potter thing is like modern art. It’s enjoyable, but just for it’s fairytale adventure… It’s so typical, I mean, a young boy battling against evil (the idol for a kid), becoming a powerful wizard, and winning at the end, with his gang. You know, I’ve rad the book, I truly did, cause I was so eager to see what my daughter likes so much about it. Ok, for kid, it’s okay. But where’s the big bang??? It’s a good story, but there are so much more precious, and quality pieces written year by year, but no one cares a shit about them. This is sad… Even literature lives it’s “modern (crap) art” disease… Sad… Wake up people!!! There are books about real life, beautiful pieces, about living. About reality. Wake up!…
Wow, you are incredibly ignorant; please actually read the books before running that gibberish tongue of yours.
The books were meant for both adults and kids given the in-depth content of the series. Have an adult-like mind, and maybe you’ll be able to catch all the hidden, subliminal messages; and all the mysteries the books hold.
Go read some more of your Twilight book or something, douche.
P.S. – to dew; keep in mind the book is based in the WIZARD world, not HUMAN…not everything is going to be exactly how our normal daily lives are going to be….its kinda common sense there…..; and Hermione hangs out at Ron’s all the time because shes in love with him; and since she’s a witch she doesn’t get pleasure out of normal “human” activities; use your brain next time before bashing on someone else’s great work. =)