A Horrible Spring Break

I received this link from a reader last week and it was something that simply amazed me:The story

For those of you who haven;t heard about this basically a Drake University sophomore decided to see if he could spend spring break in Wal-Mart. He would only bring his cell phone, a debit card, and two forms of ID. Everything else he needed he would buy in the store. Since the store is open 24 hours he would have to evade Wal Mart employees and catch his sleep wherever he could; a bathroom stall, one of the booths in the subway that is connected to the store, or in the lawn chairs in home and garden. During the day he would write about the people he observed, watch Chicken Little in the entertainment section, or restock the shelves. Sadly Skyler Bartels only made it 41 hours into his experiment. But he garnered a ton of attention doing it.

Skyler Bartels: Legend or biggest loser ever?

This kind of got me thinking on two different points:

1- How the hell do you go 41 hours in a retail store before people finally catch on that you have been there forever? Oh wait, he was at Wal-Mart, there is no way this would have happened at Target though, I am convinced of this point. Speaking of Target, over a year ago I ran into Katie Holmes in LA at Target with my then girlfriend. They both reached for the same set of sheets. Knowing what I know now about my then girlfriend and Katie Holmes I should have made a move. I mean if she finds gay, midget, scientologists attractive I would have a shot right?

2- While the experiment is interesting and noble, could he have picked a shittier place to spend spring break? Besides the obvious like Iraq, I have compiled a list of what I would think would be four shittier places to spend spring break in the United States.

The four worst places to spend spring break in the United States:

4) Utica, NY- If you have been there you understand, if you havent thank god and go about your day.

3) Neverland Ranch-With Michael out of the United States the estate would be a veritable ghost town. Nobody would be able operate the rides and with all the sex trial stuff his secret sex room would be gutted of all the porn. On the plus side: tons of Jesus juice.

2) Johnnys Porn Palace- Riverside, CA- Try staying in there for a week just surviving on edible undies and drinks from the Coke machine. Having to sleep in the nudie booths would suck, if you fall asleep against the glass your face may stick there forever. On the plus side: You finally can get caught up on the American Bukake series.

1) The entire state of South Dakota- Granted being a college student from the northeast or other popular places may get you laid. But the fact that if you knock a girl up you are totally screwed because of their new abortion ban, so guilt free sex is out of the window. Plus you are in South Dakota

What other locations am I forgetting?