An Open Letter to Myspace Bloggers

(Before you comment make sure you read the final paragraph.)

I am a writer not a blogger. I have written for myspace and my own website which makes me better than all of you. Sure I am not published, nor have I been approached by a major studio, but I am a writer and that is all that matters. So with the recent tension in the blogging community on myspace I have decided to give everyone a legitimate reason to hate me by picking apart everyone. Because I am a writer and when I shit sniff sniff.. it smells like lilacs.

The Happy Commuter, Suzzette, Lightening, Half Naked Vivek, Pop Goes the Girl, El Supremo

You all written about sex, being the hardcore Amish man and Republican that I am, I cannot accept that drivel as writing. Myspace is not Penthouse, this website does not condone girls acting in a whorish manner. Or men displaying their naked torsos.

Donkey Sosa, B Movie Hobo, Spork

You guys use way too many pictures in your blogs. Myspace does not condone the use of pictures anywhere on their site especially in blogs. I don’t read books with pictures.. blech.

Farmer Vincent’s Fritters, Pussy Galore, Moghdor, Bethany, Todd, Pulp Fictional, Little Navy Wife, Trendon, Harry P, Wonder Bitch, Alika, Badger, Armand, Bill Dawes, Dick Stanke

You all write blogs that are funny or offbeat. For shame writers do not write anything funny. You are all a detriment to society and I wish a pox on all of you. You are all just just bloggers.

Aaaaaaron, Karsten, Gary Robert Smith II, Humble B Wonderful, Dionysus, I am the Rocketman, It’s Siouxse Bitches, VaJason, D is for Dabi

You use very large words and not ENOUGH pictures. I can’t be bothered to wade through an entire blog with so many words. You see when I write I use the correct words and just enough.

Freckleface, Randy, Flick My Bean

You do NOT comment on blogs enough You should show appreciation to other writers and bow down before them. Myself being the only writer on myspace. I want twenty comments a tome from all of you now.

The Projectionists, Boo Boo Kitty

You write about movies yuck.. The Medium is dead Movies are not true art, I mean have you seen the work of Jim Varney? The only art out in society today is mine.

BiBi Cambridge, Adam, Inga

You aren’t American, so I have to just ignore you as a whole. We all know that Americans are the only true writers Name one good European writer ever.

Steam Geek, Late Night Charlie, bethany with a small b

You all make me think, people shouldn’t be challenged mentally only if it is written by me.

Dan formerly the ruler of Australia (has since changed name), The Ian

You really aren’t even from Australia, either of you. One is from Detroit and one is from New Jersey. Blatant lies, blatant lies a real writer would give out their exact address so their adoring fans could send them letters.

If I have forgotten to insult anyone please leave a comment and tell me you would like me to insult you. I will leave no stone unturned to rub it in that I am better than all of you. Now I must go and have a collection of nubile virgins bathe me in hot warm spring water.

(Note: Any comments that are written in order to put me down or with a dissenting view will be deleted. Free speech is not encouraged unless it comes from me.)

PS- It is now fun to blog again….

Note 2: BEFORE YOU LAUNCH INTO HOW BIG OF A DICK I AM. This is a highly sarcastic response to this blog. All the people I mentioned above I read and enjoy. I do not consider myself better than any other blogger out there. We all write drivel for the world to see…