We All Need Rolemodels

(So I am swamped with getting ready for the pointlessbanter.net launch party which is going on tomorrow night in LA. Once again everyone is invited if you want to check out the information on the party go here. Please come on out it will be a good time, or a semi good time, or a waste of time. It will be something though.)

Sometimes when I watch a movie or a television show I see a character that I kind of wish was in my real life. Who wouldn’t want Mike Seaver as a best friend, well until he became a bible beating psycho? Who didn’t want to give Steve Urkel swirlies? Who didn’t want to spend a day with Ferris Bueller or watch Phoebe Cates get out of the pool; over, and over, and over, and over again?

Occasionally I felt that I actually was viewing a role model. Not in a warped, “I have no role model and must latch onto a person on TV type of way.” But more like a, “Holy shit, this guy might be the ultimate male role model I wish he was real.” Who is this man you ask? Dirty Harry? No. Chuck Norris? Stop reading my blog right now, I hate you. The entire A-team? Nope. Mr. Myagi? He can’t even hold a candle to this guy.

I am talking about.

Coach Bobby Finstock.

Coach Finstock was Scott Howard aka Teen Wolf’s coach. He was a man’s man, plus he had like a 20 lines in “Teen Wolf” all of them to me are classic.

You see growing up I always had coaches that were way to fired up until I had a Coach in 7/8th grade baseball, who was later the assistant Varsity Baseball Coach. He was our third base coach and he also taught the kids with learning disabilities. We kept blowing signs that he was giving us so one day he made flash cards with the signs and told us his learning disabled kids picked things up faster than us. It was downright classic; he took up half of a Varsity Baseball practice to creatively tell us we were retards.

Coach Finstock though told it like it was. He was a master at scouting opponents and breaking them down:

Vice Principal Thorne: It’s not going to well is it?

Coach Finstock: Well, Christ, Thorne, look at the shoes on those guys. If our guys had shoes like that there’s no telling what they could do.

You see Nike was right when they said, “It’s gotta be the shoes.”

In fact Coach Finstock knew that basketball wasn’t a game, you could learn some serious life lessons. He wanted the games to be played the right way:

Dragons Basketball Coach: You want to forfeit the game?
Coach Finstock: Yeah, what’s wrong with that?
Dragons Basketball Coach: No.
Coach Finstock: No?
Dragons Basketball Coach: My boys have league scoring records at stake. It wouldn’t be fair to them.
Coach Finstock: I just thought if we quit now, you could beat the 5 o’clock traffic.
Dragons Basketball Coach: There’s a lot to learn from losing.
Coach Finstock: Hey, we’ll play, if it’s that big a deal to you.

His philosophy on winning and losing summed a lot up:

“It doesn’t matter how you play the game, it’s whether you win or lose. And even that doesn’t make all that much difference.”

Like any good Coach he was there to support his players off of the court:

Coach Finstock: Look Scotty, I know what you’re going through. Couple years back, a kid came to me much the same way you’re coming to me now, saying the same thing that you’re saying. He wanted to drop off the team. His mother was a widow, all crippled up. She was scrubbing floors. She had this pin in her hip. So he wanted to drop basketball and get a job. Now these were poor people with real problems. Understand what I’m saying?

Scott Howard: What happened to the kid?

Coach Finstock: I don’t know. He quit. He was a third stringer, I didn’t need him.

When his players were in really tough spots Coach Finstock really leaped out to help them:

“What is it, gambling? Drugs? You know I’d really like to help you but I’m kind of tapped out this month. The IRS is coming down on me like it’s some personal vendetta against Bobby Finstock.”

Finally Coach Finstock had the ultimate advice in life. Screw the whole one thing scene in City Slickers, in a few sentences Coach Finstock tells you everything you need to know about life:

“There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.”

Oh and by the way the last two quotes are available as t-shirts in the pointlessbanter.net store. Along with my other favorite movie quote:

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”-Lloyd Dobler

So if you want the most prolific words ever given in life across your chest check out the store.

Yes I know I am a shameless whore Everyone enjoy the weekend! These those attending at the party this weekend, be there or be octagon.