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Two Things That Made Me Go WTF?

By: Bobby Finstock on 01/18/06 @ 8:44 am

There were two things that I read in the last week that were a total WTF moment. You know when you are reading you have to stop, reread what you just read again, and then say to yourself WTF. It happens often in life.

The first thing this week that I read that made me go WTF? Was this article: HERE

“SAN FRANCISCO — A Cal-Tech student has iced the Rubik’s Cube puzzle. Leyan Lo, 20, aligned all the colors in 11.13 seconds, a new world’s record for solving the puzzle. He beat the previous record by more than a half second, at the 2nd Annual International Rubik’s Cube Competition in San Francisco over the weekend. But his lightning fast fingers and nimble mind didn’t take the championship, which is the average of three puzzle solving times. Macky Makisumi, a 15-year-old high school sophomore from Pasadena, took home the title. He clocked in with an average time of 14.91 seconds in the final round to take first place.”

For those of you who didn’t grow up in the 80s let me quickly explain what a rubik’s cube is. Basically is it a cube with different colored squares, you twist the cube and mix it up. Here is a pic:

rubix cube

So solving this thing in 11 seconds is impressive. But I want to know how many twists they did to mix it up. I mean I remember when I got mine I just kept twisting it and twisting it and twisting and twisting it to mix it up making it virtually unsolvable. In fact it was so messed up I had a babysitter take it apart with a knife and put it back together telling me that she solved it. I totally would have bought into it until like two pieces fell apart in my hand. Needless to say that bitch didn’t baby sit at my house ever again. So back to my original question… They had to twist it like a maximum of ten times or something… Which kind of makes it a little lame… But still 11 seconds….

Eleven seconds though that is enough to make me stand back and say WTF? I don’t think I can get my shoes on and tied in 11 seconds. I don’t think if I can decide if Kelly Ripa is hot or not in 11 seconds. Hell I can’t even decide what I want to eat for breakfast in 11 seconds.

My next WTF moment… Well let me forewarn you, if you are eating or drinking anything please put it down before you read the next paragraph. I don’t want you choking, vomiting, or doing a spit take.

This was from the main page of yahoo, in their gossip section:

“KATE MOSS and JACK OSBOURNE? That’s what a source tells me. The two hit Teddy’s after the Globes, where they enjoyed major public displays of affection. The source says, ‘They were making out in front of everyone.’”

Now I am going to offer a disclaimer before I go on. Looks are not everything, chemistry, intelligence, sense of humor, respect, and numerous other things are important in order for two people to be attracted to each other. With that being said…. WTF.

Kate Moss:

kate moss

Jack Osbourne:

jack osbourne

Yeah I see how they are in the same ballpark. Granted neither really has a discernible talent, Kate gets paid to look hot. Jack… uh.. Jack gets paid to be related to his parents. I totally see how this could work out. Wait a minute, didn’t Kate Moss used to date Johnny Depp? Wow… There could only be one reason for any of this:

kate moss coke

And there you go… Jack Osbourne must have the best shit on the planet earth. Now I get it.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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