Would you like some Popcorn Shrimp with that Burrito Supreme?

There’s a disturbing trend going on that is really starting to raise the bile in my throat (well, in all fairness, that could be the Mini Chimichungas I ate for lunch).

Since when did it become a good idea to put 2 fastfood restaurants in the same building, and where is the Executive that came up with this idea so that I can forcefeed him some mashed potatoes with “Fire” sauce? You guys know what I’m talking about: Pizza Hut and Taco Bell in the same building, KFC and Pizza Hut in the same building, A&W and Long John Silver’s in the same building.

As if the “food” (perhaps paste is a better term) wasn’t shitty enough when there was only one restaurant, now you’re going to try to specialize in 2 types of “food?” My tastebuds just shriveled up like a nutsack on a frosty winter morn.

But the combo I saw today is further proof that the end times are drawing upon us. I looked up as I was driving, and there is was, a Taco Bell / Long John Silver’s Combo restaurant!! I swear to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ I am not making this up. In fact, here’s photographic evidence of one in another state:

Ahoy Matey, would you like to try our Popcorn Shrimp Tostada? Wait, where are you going?

Can you imagine what this place must smell like inside?? The sweet, tangy mixture of pureed beef “parts” and 2 month old “fish” mingling together, hanging in the air like the stench in a truckstop ladies’ room? MMMM, hook a brutha up.

Screw it though, if we’re gonna do it right, let’s go all the way. What other businesses can we put under one roof?

Here, I’ll start us off:

McDonald’s and Tutor Time: Let Ronald McDonald and the gang stuff your kid’s fat ass full of burgers, and full of knowledge!