The Greatest News To Start the New Year Ever
I hope everyone had a safe and fun new years eve.
Sometimes I doubt if god exists, with all the trials and tribulations he puts people through. Then when something like this happens, I just know he is looking down on us and blessing us. (my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek)
At midnight January 1, 2006 the greatest thing EVER happened. This one single thing is going to set the pace for the New Year, this one thing is going to have everything else trying futility to catch up to it. In fact I am so excited I totally pulled a shabone (shit myself and got a boner).
Kevin Federline released his first single… PopoZao
And oh my god is it an overproduced steaming pile of shit. You can listen to a sample of it from the link above just click on the little headphones next to the song title. It sounds like a cross between Outkast and now (remember that crappy white rapper that did that song “Informer”?) but with any talent sucked out (which would be coming out of the Outkast part since Snow didn’t have any).
I know you all have so many questions… Since I already know what you are all thinking I will tackle the questions before you actually answer them.
1)Is this a sign of the Apocalypse? It might very well be… I don’t think a New Year has ever started with better news… I mean I was going to write about Obie Trice getting shot in Detroit
(Insert either joke here: I know a rapper shot? That never happens or a shooting in Detroit I would never guess that) but that all had to take a back seat to this.
2)Did you actually listen to the song? Yes and I regret every second of it.
3)What the fuck does PopoZao mean? Apparently it is a Portuguese slang term for big but, I am not even making this up… I am creative but not that creative.
4)What are the lyrics? Sadly I haven’t been able to find a full complete set of lyrics anywhere on the net yet. Well I looked for like thirty seconds and gave up because the shabone situation I had was making me go crazy.
This is all I could find:
Wanna know where I go when I’m in your city?
Girl don’t worry about all the dough cos I can’t
Cos the cat is coming straight out of the know
Pretty *** on the way of Rio
Bring that Brazil boy on the flow
Up, down all around work that *** on the sound
Wanna see you when I’m going home
…
Popozao, popozao…
Do you think Vanilla Ice is sitting somewhere and laughing right now? I am not sure how to react to all of this…
Oh and I pulled this from his new website…
Hey Everyone,
I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced. My name is Kevin Federline. I’m 6 feet tall, have brown hair and brown eyes. I enjoy horseback riding, long walks on the beach and the wind whipping through my hair. Ha ha ha. On a more serious note, there’s going to be a lot more information and updates on here in the coming weeks and I think this will provide you with the opportunity to get to know who I really am. Anyway, thanks for checking out my site and be sure to come back often. You can click here to join my email list and also check me out on MySpace.
Kevin
If you’re on MySpace, check out My Page!
K-fed I can’t really wait to really learn who you really are, I love your generic sense of humor… 2006 is starting out to be the best year ever.
Oh and just to give you all a preview of this week future blogs subjects:
-Donald Trump running for Governor of New York (I bet you he plans on redoing the freeways in marble and all light posts in some tacky gold)
-The symbolism of King Kong
-I will finally check in on the whole Brad Pitt and Jolie thing… I refuse to combine their fucking names… But that will also be covered in that blog….
