I Need To Start Taking Sleeping Pills Because I Have the Wierdest Dreams

So I had a rather weird dream last night. I was back in NY at the college bar I used to dj at, it had to be winter or summer break because there weren’t a lot of people there. I was getting very frustrated because I didn’t have the usual array of cds to choose from, instead of a couple of hundred cds I had twenty and most of them were awful or scratched. Sitting in the booth I was planning on what to play next when a guy came to the door of the booth, which is slightly elevated he came up the three steps and was standing at the door. He had a rat tail, yes long piece of hair grown from the back of his head.

He launched into this long story about how his girlfriend was having a special birthday and he went on and on. I cut him off because I knew it was just leading to a song request, hearing the story isn’t going to change my opinion if I am going to play it or not so I told him to just ask for the song. “I want to hear Creed- With Arms Wide Open”, he replied. I shuddered a little and I told him that I didn’t have the cd to play his song and even if I did I probably wouldn’t play it for a myriad of reasons. This guy got a little upset at me and started shouting, I told him to calm down and he stamped off. I turned around and started searching for cds again as the song that was playing was winding down. I frantically grabbed what I thought was the Tom Petty’s Greatest Hits CD to play “American Girl” but instead it was an old Cypress Hill CD which I didn’t notice until “Hits From the Bong” started playing over the sound system. I was kind of pissed because the cd was in the wrong case but I moved on.

Two girls then approached the booth. One was slightly over weight and had a like 80’s big hair thing going on. The other was scrawny and had like a black rotted tooth, which I couldn’t stop looking at. I asked them if I could help them and the scrawny one started yelling at me that I wouldn’t play her song that her boyfriend asked for. Yet again I explained that I didn’t have it and she said I was lying and began trying to come into the booth. I told her she wasn’t allowed back here and her fat friend started giving me attitude about how I was a jerk. At this point I was getting pissed and I told her to “get her narrow ass out of my way so I could do my job, if she wanted to hear the song that bad she should get the hell out of the bar and go home and listen to it.”

Needless to say that didn’t go over well. They stormed off to get their boyfriends. The first guy came back and said that he was going to kick my ass but his friend wanted a piece of me first. “I don’t think you want to get into a fight with someone working at a bar, the odds aren’t that good of you making it out in one piece.”, was the first thing I could think of saying fearing that his friend was some huge ass guy. I see out of the window to the booth an empty wheel chair. At the door was a guy feebly holding himself up on the lower part of the door. (The top half of the door was open.) In his hand he was holding a swiss army knife. I think that he had a mild form of cerebral palsy; he wasn’t holding the knife all that well so I just took it out of his hands. He then tried to swing at me… So I was faced with a moral dilemma do I punch a kid with a mild form of cerebral palsy? My rationale was yes. He was attacking me with a knife for gods sake, so I punched him right in the face and he fell back.

I grabbed his friend and tossed him down the stairs onto the pool table. Looking towards the front of the bar I waived for the bouncers to come back. At this point everyone in the bar was watching me fight a kid with palsy and a guy with a rat tail. Good times. I was feeling bad the entire time this was going on like I was going to go to hell for doing so but I also felt the need to protect myself. Their girlfriends were standing there cheering them on like it was a weird scene out of Rocky. The kid with palsy kept coming at me and I actually kicked him when he was reaching for my leg when he was on the floor, the rat tail guy got up and tried to break a pool stick over his leg but failed miserably.

Finally the bouncer made it to the back of the bar. “Lumpy” the bouncer is a hulk of a guy, he surveyed the two guys and starting laughing, “Usually I get a couple of shots in as I throw them out of the bar but it looks like you did all the work… Good job.”

End of dream and the beginning of my slow decent into hell.