Rivers Cuomo So Sad

Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline.

The 35-year-old frontman earlier vowed to remain celibate for two years. Although that deadline expired six months ago, Cuomo still doesn’t expect to jump back in the sack anytime soon.

“It’s been two and a-half years now, actually,” Cuomo tells Blender magazine in its new issue, on newsstands Tuesday. “The vow is over, but I wanted to keep cruising.”

Though he’s a lead singer for a popular rock band, the bespectacled Cuomo says it’s not difficult to manage restraint.

“Abstinence doesn’t require as much self-discipline anymore,” he says. “We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.”

Cuomo’s vow makes Weezer’s 2005 music video for “Beverly Hills” somewhat unusual; it was filmed at the Playboy mansion with dozens of Playboy models and Weezer fans.

Earlier this year, Weezer released their fifth album, “Make Believe.”

Cuomo is also pursuing a degree in English literature from Harvard University, for which he has one semester left.

I know when some of you read this you are going to think, “Wow how admirable, he is really about the music.” Or, “Look at that self control, this guy really knows what he wants out of his life.” Maybe even, “I think that it is impressive that he hasn’t fallen into the trappings of a rock and roll lifestyle.”

So to everyone that thought any of the preceding three things. I have one thing to say to you… Fuck you. I want my rock stars out of control…. I want my rock stars snorting coke off the asses of strippers at 4 o’clock in the morning in some seedy strip club in Hollywood. I want the bands one armed drummer beating the crap out of his wife.

(Which I still will never get… HE HAS ONE ARM. How can you not get away, okay enough talk about Def Leopard.)

I want them nailing coked out supermodels with reckless abandoned. I want them pissing money away on sports cars that they will never drive, houses they will never step foot in, or on random shit like the elephant mans remains. I want them destroying hotel rooms and just throwing money at the staff. I want them wiping their asses with hundred dollar bills.

Granted a lot of music I listen to does not really convey this type of lifestyle. But nobody I listen to goes around spouting off how they are celibate so at least the mystique is there. You may ask why I want my rock stars like this? It’s simple… It is the only profession where it is ok to do so. When athletes pull this shit people break out the, “Oh you are a role model, what about the kids?” When politicians do this they get booted out of office or in the current case become President after becoming born again.

But when you hear about a rock star doing it? Eh… people shrug it off… Vince Neil gets in a horrible drunk driving accident killing his passenger, slap on the wrist… We expect you to be a fuck up. Tommy Lee does whatever dumb thing he does… It’s ok, it’s Tommy Lee… Maybe a band assaults someone with a fish, it’s the mighty Zep… It’s all good…

That is what I want out of my rock stars not them saying they haven’t had sex in two years…