Random Thoughts…

So I have passed the 200 blog mark and the 10,000 page view mark in the same week. In order to celebrate I figured I would write an awesome blog that would rock your socks off…

Instead you get random thoughts:

-I don’t like Usher… I don’t have a specific reason why I don’t like Usher. Maybe it is the one name thing, I don’t know if I like anyone with just one name, well Pele wasn’t bad and I can get down with Prince… So maybe that isn’t it… Well I just don’t like Usher. Screw backing up my rationale.

-For some reason I secretly enjoy watching Martha Stewart’s daytime show. I am so entertained by how stiff she is. Her making fake banter with her guest’s is the most uncomfortable 20 seconds on television. I advise anyone with a tivo to start taping it… The only thing more uncomfortable then Martha talking to the guests would be plunger rape.

-I seriously have no idea what I want for Christmas… I threw out the ipod idea but really when the hell am I going to use it? I saw on the news last night you can now download porn to the video ipod. I’m not a big porn guy but stories about porn interest me. It was rather exciting until they interview Ron Jeremy about it. The quickest single way to ruin a story about porn is throwing Ron Jeremy into the mix.

-Speaking of the porn industry, is it wrong that every time I play someone on party poker and see that they are from Sherman Oaks I ask if they work in the porn business? It’s automatic to think that right?

-I didn’t realize that King Kong is like 17 hours long… I decided I am going to bring a bedpan with me so I could make it through the flick. Does he understand that you don’t need to make every movie three hours long?

-I hate when people call movies flicks.

-I said this last year at this time but I will restate it again. I love the shitty holiday movies they play on the hallmark channel, lifetime, etc…I am developing a theory based on these movies here is what I have come up with. At least one of the following people will be in this movie: someone that used to have a sitcom on NBC, someone that has been on Melrose Place or 90210 or someone that was decent in the 70’s like William Devane. So far this trend has pretty much held true on every movie… But sometimes if you are lucky… If you are really lucky you get Guttenberg.

-I am going to go find out who makes the fandango commercials that play before the movies and make them my bitch.

-Showtime is in talks to pick up “Arrested Development” I would be so happy. It’s on Fox on Monday’s at 8… It might be as funny as Seinfeld, it is just as offbeat, it sucks that it is getting canceled. Of course that would mean I would have to subscribe to Showtime… But Showtime does have the L Word… Which might be the greatest show ever, I couldn’t tell you one major story line on that show but I know there is going to be nudity every week and that is all that counts.

-When you see articles titled “Baghdad streets quiet as election nears” don’t you kind of chuckle to yourself and shake your head and think, “Hmmm the calm before the storm.”

-So there are rumors about a Brittney K-Fed break up… I haven’t looked into it all that much because it doesn’t interest me really. It’s one of those no shit stories… Like we didn’t see this coming from 18 million miles away, he was such a good father before the marriage. The one thing that does interest me about this is basically it is a sociological experiment, here is a guy that is kind of a loser and he marries into someone with money and fame. He had tastes of it before now he is in deep. So dude goes and starts hitting a lot of Hollywood parties and getting into the limelight. Almost like he is just glad to be there, now you have to wonder does he screw things up with the golden goose in order to have some sort of celebrity status and get laid by hot LA girls and possibly land another shitty reality show ending up on the D-list level forever? Or does he play it safe and stay with Brittney never actually having to work again. The fact that I actually put thought into this makes me want to vomit.

-Reason number 150 why I hate living in Oxnard: So I am in class last night waiting for my final to start. I got their early so I could study a little in a quiet room. There were four other people that were already there studying. So two other people come in and I kind of think they are dating. The guy is talking to the girl like she is standing across the parking lot. So one of the people that were studying turns to them and asks, “Could you please be quiet we are all in here studying and trying to get ready for the test.” The guy that was talking flipped out, “Oh no you did not just say that, maybe your ass should be in the library. I am so heated right now… I am so heated… You want to start something.” He was getting up out of his seat and pacing like he needed to calm down… You gotta love Oxnard…