Things I am Thankful For

Things I am thankful for….

Cocaine- Because without it we wouldn’t have Courtney Love to make fun of.

Christina Agulira- She proved that ugly guys can marry complete whores.

Dick Cheney- I know whatever asshole move I pull during the year will always be topped.

Partypoker and betonsports- Thanks for feeding the addiction guys!

Lindy Englund- Who took the pointing at a small dick joke to a whole new level.

Female Teachers that sleep with their students-I always find it entertaining.

Myspace-How else would I have made it through the day at a job that I am way over qualified for.

The partially retarded students at Oxnard College- Thanks for making me feel like the smartest person on the west coast every time I step into a room with you.

Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson- Thank you for doing the monster mash on Jimmy Kimmel live… It brought hours of laughs.

Michael Rappaport and Freddie Prinze Jr- For showing that you don’t have to have talent to get a sitcom deal.

To the Jessica Simpson/Nic Lachey breakup-That’s what you get for throwing you marriage in our face with a tv show…

Natalie Portman growing her hair back in- not much more I need to say about that

Omar M- Thanks for getting CD… if you can sign Wagner now I will be happy

Crappy Celeb Gossip-Without you I would have no blogs

And finally…

My friends and family… blah, blah… without them I would be slingin’ rocks in the 310.. or something like that.

Happy thanksgiving everyone…..