I Like My Spam With a Touch of Christ

I got this message in my e-mail the other day:

Dearly Beloved in Christ, Please send all emails to:assistmelissa@gmail.com

It is by the grace of God that I received Christ,Having known the
truth, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight
of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of Gods
mercy and glory upon my life.

I am Mrs Melissa Pointer the wife of Mr Harry Pointer, my husband
worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Kenya for twenty years before he died
in the year 2001.We were married for ten years without a child.
My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.
Before his death we were both born again Christians.
Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my
matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was
alive he deposited the sum of US $3.5M. (Three Million Five Hundred
Thousand U.S. Dollars) with a Bank in Europe.
Presently, this money is still with the Bank and the management just
wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to sign for the release of
this money or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to
receive it on my behalf if I can not come over.
Presently, I’m in a hospital in Kenya where I have been undergoing
treatment for esophageal cancer. I have since lost my ability to talk
and my doctors have told me that I have only a few weeks to live. It is
my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations any
where in the World.
Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since
my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge
responsibility to any of them.
Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me Stand
and collect the Funds from the Bank.
I want a person that is God fearing that will use this money to fund
churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to
ensure that the house of God is maintained.
The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth.
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit
this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want
my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers.
I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly
manner.
Hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of
death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in
the bosom of the Lord.
Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold
my peace.
I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard
because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband’s relatives
around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development.
With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of
Attorney who is in Europe as he will be the one to assist you in laying
claims for this funds.
Please send all emails to :assistmelissa@gmail.com

Yours in Christ,

Melissa Pointer
_______________________________

So I check my e-mail like usual and what do I get… A nice spam message… You know the whole somebody has money in a country and can’t get it out, blah, blah, blah, blah….

Except this one was new… It had something about it that I haven’t seen before. The whole I found Christ added on top of it. Wow… How bad it is that scam artists see how much the religious right has taken over this country and have adapted their scams to it…

That is just sad… so… so… so …. so… so…. sad.

What is next? Will I get e-mails like this:

Christ says… “Hey if I was alive I would want viagra too!”

or

Jesus says that this is the most honest casino on the net!

or

Take advantage of these great mortgage rates, Christ approved!

or

“One thing god didn’t give me the power to do is increase my penis size, but thanks to these herbal pills I can do so!”– Billy Grahmn

or

If that whore Mary were alive today she would be posing for us.. nakedchristianchicks.com

Ugh imagine the possibilities.