The New Family Guy DVD, The New O.A.R. CD, and a Disapointing Stripper
I have been so busy lately that I have totally ignored my blog community… My people out there…
A lot has been going on… I had my worst purchasing experience at Best Buy ever yesterday. I mean all trips to Best Buy suck. The store is always a mess, the people always clueless, they always hit you up for the worst magazine ever (Entertainment Weekly), and there are always 20 registers and two fucking cashiers. (This is the one thing that drives me insane about large retail stores. Why do they have like 20 registers and like 2 cashiers? I know the reply is … well for Christmas time. But when Christmas rolls around they staff like ¼ of the registers… so it is up to make 6 out of the twenty if you are lucky… And yes I know 6 out of 20 is greater then ¼ don’t correct my math in a rant.)
Ok so I bought the new Family Guy movie and the new O.A.R. cd… both items I was highly excited to get. The thing is they both suck… The Family Guy movie was just kind of shitty. There were like three jokes that I laughed at and that was it… Maybe I built it up so much in my head that there was no way it was going to live up to my expectations… The best way I could explain it is like this….
For my friend Jeff’s 23rd birthday we decided to hire a stripper and have her come over to the house. I called an agency that my bookie recommended. (That is a whole different story.) So I made the call they told me about the people they had and I made my pick. (Lesson number one never order a stripper without seeing her first.) So any ways everyone was all excited about the stripper… I called a TON of people to come over… Friends from high school, work, college, new found friends, neighbors, the turnout was good… We all made a list of songs of typical stripper music to make a cd with. It became like a big time joke of what songs to have. Of course 2 Live Crew made an appearance… Good times. It was a night everyone was looking forward to. So everyone was over and drinking… When the stripper arrived and suddenly it was the day the laughter died. She was a 40 year old, over tanned, mangled face, put through the ringer lady. She got changed and was well… let’s just say it looked like she had gotten into multiple knife fights in her lifetime. There were about 20 people in the living room and the kitchen combined. Everyone tried to make their way out of the room. It was the first time ever guys fought not to be in the same zip code as a stripper. So she started going around when the music was playing and everyone was trying to avoid her. Finally I pointed out that it was Jeff’s birthday and that is why she was there. She laid Jeff down on the floor and started dancing for him. We all kept throwing money at Jeff because we figured she would stay away from us. It worked. Of course she started getting bored, doing the same old thing, So she decided to sit on Jeff’s chest and bounce up and down. The more she bounced the more we paid. Poor Jeff woke up the next day with bruises all over his chest.
So that is how Family Guy was like.. A stripper that wasn’t of very good quality.
So I was thinking last night if I had to rank the three actors/actresses that play the best white trash I would go like this:
1- Juliette Lewis
2- Jamie Presley
3- Billy Bob Thorton
