I Still Don’t Get This Movie
So like last year at this time I wrote a short blog about a move called “This Girl’s Life”. I stumbled by it one night on HBO like at 1 am. This week I watched it again for a second time and I figured now that I have seen the entire movie I can give my full review.
Well like I said in first blog about it I was flipping through the channels and stumbled across James Woods acting like a retard. Now I know that sounds rather insensitive but I am a sucker for watching actors play people with disabilities because it is the most overrated thing ever. I don’t see how it is a skill to act like someone with a disability. Yet everyone always gives these roles such acclaim. I used to pretend I was retarded in 6th grade… I would have owned in “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”. So to me it is like watching a train wreck.
Ok well anyways back on track. So I was sucked in by James Woods… Then Michael Rappaport was in it and Rosario Dawson… but then there was a crazy amount of nudity and sex. It was like a combination of a skinamax movie and a legit movie… Totally threw me for a loop. Like I just wasn’t sure how to treat it… Is it like a total crappy porn or a total crappy movie? It is like deciding if dogshit is the worst smelling thing ever or the worst tasting? (Not that I have tasted it)
The movie starts out about this girl played by Juliette Marquis:
She is hot but her inability to act and this crappy movie killed her career. Same with the director he has not written or directed anything since this.
I was going to give you a whole breakdown of the movie but explaining it would take pages. So I am going to give you the abridged story arch.
-Girl is in porn, top star… contract up
-Mom died years ago… Dad has Parkinson’s
-Girl has blind date with med student
-Tell med student she is porn, he isn’t sure how to react
-Friends asks her to help catch husband cheating
-Flirts with friends husband makes him cheat on tape
-Becomes a PI that specializes in tricking men into cheat and videotaping it
-Makes Michael Rappaport cheat in most awkward sex scene ever makes him snap and threaten her
-Dad disappears as he wanders out of house, she freaks out he is returned by police
-She has AIDS scare because some other star has it
-She doesn’t have AIDS
-She meets up with guy that she had blind date with
-Movie ends
It is a fucking convoluted mess isn’t it?
Reasons why this movie blows:
1) Male nudity- She interviews guys that she is going to do a sex scene with. One guy is fucking really old… They show package… never a good thing… ( AND I DO NOT CARE THAT IT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD)
2) She is the top porn star for a company yet she does webcam work at this house that a bunch of porn stars live in…. It makes no sense. It would be like a professional football player coming over to play backyard football with a 12 year old kid.
3) Is there a reason why James Woods is in the movie with Parkinson’s? I mean did they need that story line?
4) How do you go from porn to like private eye to like an AIDS scare and the time frame is like a week? It makes no sense.
I am totally rambling about nothing… This blog blows… I am ejecting now… before it gets any worse.
